Something Old Something New Something Red
by PoeTheDragonWillEatYou
Summary: The man with the cat eyes spoke, "Alexander?" Alec froze, all the memories, all the dreams that he'd had with this man came flooding back to him. This was his soulmate, his soulmate that he hasn't seen in much too long.
1. One Tall Decaf

**I'm writing a reincarnation fic/soulmate fic! I've always wanted to, and with Malec it just seemed perfect. But first, the authors note! Don't worry it's short!**

**DISCLAIMER-**

**I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS IN ANY SORT OF SHAPE OR FORM**

* * *

Alec Lightwood had lived a fairly normal life for the first eighteen years of his life; he went to high school, lived with his parents and his siblings, and was starting college. But, the reflection that Alec saw was another story. He saw a lanky and awkward looking boy with black hair and these stubborn eyes that never let him hide. He saw a boy trying to 'pray the gay away' in order to please his parents. He saw a boy that kept having dreams of a glittery man. He saw a boy that would neveramount to his perfect siblings. Alec only saw the flaws, and that's how he carried himself, a boy who hated his flaws so instead he turned himself invisible to the public. If only that man, the man with those odd cat eyes didn't come into his life. That man, who made Alec actually not want to 'pray the gay away'. That man, who saw past Alec's 'flaws'. That man, who made his dreams come true. If only that man, Magnus never got into his life. But, without Magnus Alec would have faded into the oblivion.

Forever.

* * *

_Alec dropped his witchlight. The light winked out, and he fell to his knees, scrabbling on the ground among the trash and the dirt, grit under his fingernails. At last something lit up before his eyes, and he rose to see Magnus standing before him, the witchlight in his hand. It shone and flickered with a strangely-colored light._

_"It shouldn't illuminate like that," Alec said, automatically. "For anyone but a Shadowhunter."_

_Magnus held it out. The heart of the witchlight was glowing a dark red, like the coal of a fire._

_"Is it because of your father?" Alec asked._

_Magnus didn't reply, only tipped the runestone into Alec's palm. As their hands touched, his face changed. "You're freezing cold."_

_"I am?"_

_"Alexander . . ." Magnus pulled him to his feet, and the witchlight flickered between them, its color changing rapidly. Alec had never seen a witchlight runestone do that before. He put his head against Magnus' shoulder and let Magnus hold him. Magnus' heart didn't beat like human hearts did: it was slower, but steady. Sometimes Alec thought it was the steadiest thing in his life._

_"Kiss me," Alec said, tipping his head up; Magnus eyes were sad and shadowed, and unreadable._

_Magnus put his hand to the side of Alec's face and gently, almost absently, ran his thumb along Alec's cheekbone. When he bent to kiss him he smelled like sandalwood. Alec clutched the sleeve of Magnus' jacket, and the witchlight, held between their bodies, flared up in colors of rose and blue and green as their lips touched._

_Alec woke up, sweaty and freezing cold. It was that dream again, the dream with that man. Magnus, Magnus was his name. Why did it keep coming up? Why was he having these types of dreams? But, most importantly, why did they seem so real? Why did they seem like it had happened before? Why him of all people? Slowly, Alec got up, hearing his mattress creak as he rose from the bed and walked to the bathroom. He leaned against the sink, clutching the sides until his knuckles turned white, releasing, and then starting the process all over again. Then the voices in his head started to speak._

_'Why are you dreaming of another boy Alexander? You're male, you like girls. Do you here me? You like girls'_

_'Alec, you're a disgrace to the family name. Liking boys? How disgusting!'_

_'Why Alec? I looked up to you'_

_'You're no longer my brother'_

_'You don't deserve to be a Lightwood'_

_The stubborn little voices in his head wouldn't stop talking, he knew he couldn't be gay, it would ruin his families reputation. What was so bad about being gay? It's not like he choose to be this way. He was born that way. But, he was the oldest, he needed to be a good role model. Yet, the words 'I'm gay' always want to slip out of his mouth. He couldn't even utter the words though, his parents were homophobic and they believed it wasn't natural for the same gender to love each other. Well, at least his father was. He wasn't so sure about his mother._

_Alec looked up at himself and gazed into the mirror, "At least try to be straight, okay?"_

_Alec waited and waited for a response, but there was none to his avail. It was his reflection, he already knew the answer. After all, he can't pretend to be something he never was. He would never be straight no matter how hard he tried._

Alec woke up, breathing heavily from his dream, trying to come to terms with his dream.

"Calm down," he said to himself, "It was only a dream."

* * *

Alec had fallen back to sleep rather quickly, and had no dream about the sparkly man named Magnus. And next thing he knew, he was awoken by his mothers constant yelling of how breakfast was going to be ready in a matter of minutes. As quickly as he could he threw on a ratty old sweater and jeans from his closet. He wanted to have breakfast with his family but he needed some alone time. Some alone time to think about the man in his dreams.

Alec quickly scampered down the stairs into the kitchen,"Hey mom, gotta run!"

Maryse rolled her eyes, of course he had to leave.

* * *

Alec was hungry, of course he knew it would have happened [he didn't eat breakfast, what else did he expect?] but he really wished he wasn't in desperate need of food and a drink. He then proceeded to jog to the nearest place that he could buy food and a drink from, which was Java Jones.

Alec got into line and waited for his turn to order, and finally it was, "One tall regular coffee and a turkey sandwich please" asked AlecThe cashier and Alec exchanged money, and Alec sat there, waiting.

It seemed like hours before his name was even called, but who could blame him? It was a busy day, the restaurant was packed, and he felt like he would die any minute because of the lack of food and liquid, but then he heard his name, and for the first time in forever he was happy to have heard his name.

"Tall coffee and turkey sandwich for Alec!"

Alec then got up and proceeded to make his way threw the crowd to get his items and leave, but then he saw those eyes staring at him, those cat like eyes. That man, that man that he was staring at, the man in his dreams. That man, Magnus Bane.

That is Magnus Bane.

The Magnus Bane.

The dreams that didn't make sense were perfectly clear now, the fogginess of the dreams were gone now that he'd seen him. The pieces were all fitting together, the weird dreams seemed completely normal. This was his soulmate. He was seeing his soulmate for the first time.

The man with the cat eyes blinked and spoke in a shaky voice, "Alexander?"

Alec was stunned, the man knew recognized him. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn't get any words out.

The man spoke again, more confident, "Alexander."


	2. Venti Dark Roast

**Sorry I haven't updated! I feel awful that I didn't update but I had a bit of writers block when it came to the plot of the story but I finally got over that awful writers block thing. The plot to the story is at the bottom of the story, so if you guys want to know about it ****remember to read to the bottom. I'm sorry if this chapter is crappy. If you feel I need ****criticism or anything really feel free to PM me or review. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments in any kind of way, all rights go to Cassandra Clare**

* * *

Magnus Bane adored the color blue, to be more specific he loved bottle blue, maybe even baby blue. It was hard to explain, but all he knew was that it was the most fabulous color he'd seen in his life and that was hard to achieve. However, Magnus knew the only reason that he loved the color blue so much was because of that gorgeous boy he dreamed about. _That_ boy had the most stunning eyes he'd ever seen in his lifetime.

If only he knew more about that boy, because Magnus had already fell for him.

* * *

Magnus could hear the party music from the top floor, but to be honest Magnus didn't care for it much. He was much to drunk to care that there was still a raging party on the bottom floor of his house, none the less that he was not the center of the party. He also was in the middle of a very pleasant dream and was in no desire to tear himself away from it, after all it wasn't very often he had a dream about a very attractive blue eyed black hair boy that had abs of steel.

* * *

_"Don't worry about it," said Magnus, swinging himself easily off the couch and pushing Chairman Meow gently onto the sofa cushions, to the Chairman's plaintively voiced dismay. "Have a drink." _

_He pushed his own drink hospitably into Alec's hand; he hadn't even taken a sip, and he could make himself a new one. Alec looked startled. He was obviously far more nervous than Magnus had thought, because he fumbled and then dropped the glass, spilling crimson liquid all over himself and the floor. There was a crash as the glass hit the wood and splintered._

_Alec looked like he had been shot and was extremely embarrassed about it._

_"Wow," said Magnus. "Your people are really overselling your elite Nephilim reflexes."_

_"Oh, by the Angel. I am so—I am so sorry."_

_Magnus shook his head and gestured, leaving a trail of blue sparks in the air, and the puddle of crimson liquid and broken glass vanished._

_"Don't be sorry," he said. "I'm a warlock. There's no mess I can't clean up. Why do you think I throw so many parties? Let me tell you, I wouldn't do it if I had to scrub toilets myself. Have you ever seen a vampire throw up? Nasty."_

_"I don't really, uh, know any vampires socially."_

_Alec's eyes were wide and horrified, as if he was picturing debauched vampires throwing up the blood of the innocent. Magnus was prepared to bet he didn't know any Downworlders socially. The Children of the Angel kept to their own kind._

_Magnus wondered what exactly Alec was doing here in Magnus's apartment. He bet Alec was wondering the same thing._

_It might be a long night, but at least they could both be well-dressed. The T-shirt might show Alec was trying, but Magnus could do a lot better._

_"I'll get you a new shirt," Magnus volunteered, and made his way to his bedroom while Alec was still faintly protesting._

_Magnus's closet took up half his bedroom. He kept meaning to enlarge it. There were a lot of clothes in it that Magnus thought would look excellent on Alec, but as he riffled through them, he realized that Alec might not appreciate Magnus imposing his unique fashion sense on him._

_He decided to go for a more sober selection and chose the black T-shirt that he had been wearing Tuesday. That was perhaps a little sentimental of Magnus._

_The shirt admittedly had blink if you want me written on it in sequins, but that was about as sober as Magnus got. He tugged the shirt off its hanger and waltzed back into the main room to find that Alec had already taken his own shirt off and was standing around somewhat helplessly, his stained shirt clenched in his fist._

_Magnus stopped dead.__The room was illuminated only by a reading lamp; all the other light came from outside the windows. Alec was painted with streetlights and moonlight, shadows curling around his biceps and the slender indentations of his collarbones, his torso all smooth, sleek, bare skin until the dark line of his jeans. There were runes on the flat planes of his stomach and the silvery scars of old Marks snaked around his ribs, with one on the ridge of his hip. His head was bowed, his hair black as ink, his luminously pale skin white as paper. He looked like a piece of art, chiaroscuro, beautifully and wonderfully made._

_Magnus had heard the story of how the Nephilim were created many times. They must have forgotten to leave out the bit that said: And the Angel descended from on high and gave his chosen ones fantastic abs._

_Alec looked up at Magnus, and his lips parted as if he was going to speak. He watched Magnus with wide eyes, wondering at being watched._

_Magnus exercised heroic self-control, smiled, and offered the shirt._

_"I'm—sorry about being a lousy date," Alec muttered._

_"What are you talking about?" Magnus asked. "You're a fantastic date. You've only been here ten minutes, and I already got half of your clothes off."_

_Alec looked equal parts embarrassed and pleased. He'd told Magnus he was new to all this, so anything more than mild flirting might scare him off. Magnus had a very calm and normal date planned: no surprises, nothing unexpected._

_"Come on," said Magnus, and grabbed a red leather duster. "We're going to dinner."_

Magnus was utterly disappointed to find that that wonderful dream he was having was cut short. He also was disappointed to find out that the raging party that he had thrown was gone, and that they didn't clean up. But, to Magnus it was worth it. After all, he did get to see his bottle blue eyed boy again.

* * *

After Magnus had gotten two more hours of sleep he decided to clean his apartment and during that time he came to some realizations that he wished he had magical powers so he didn't have to clean up but rather just snap his fingers and everything would be gone and that he would never throw another party [which seemed doubtful to Magnus after he thought it over]. He also decided that he was drop dead tired and that he needed to get some coffee. And as quick as Magnus possibly could he grabbed his coat from the coat rack and left his apartment. [But not without saying goodbye to the Chairman]

* * *

Magnus had been wandering around for a good twenty minutes looking for a decent coffee shop. So far all Magnus had found were some hipster coffee shops, coffee shops with all college kids that were studying their brains out, a weird coffee shop that looked to 'hippie' for him, and a much to crowded and expensive one. He was going to get no where if he had to search for a perfect coffee shop, so he quit looking for 'the one' Magnus walked past the to 'hippie' coffee shop, or what others call Java Jones and went straight into the college kid coffee shop. After all, just judging by the way the college kids acted and looked, it seemed like the caffeine was the only thing keeping them awake. And that was something Magnus needed. Magnus opened the door to the coffee shop [which caused the quietness of the shop to have been broken] and ordered 'The strongest coffee in this joint'.

And no more then thirty seconds later Alexander Lightwood walked out of Java Jones with a tall coffee and a turkey sandwich in his hands.

* * *

**The plot of the story is everything that happened before Alec and Magnus met at the coffee shop and all the chapters [except the first and last] is a moment building up to the meet up in the first chapter. **


	3. Grande Brewed Coffee

**I suck. I kept meaning to update but then I kept scraping the idea and going with a new one. I'm sorry, I just kept editing and editing and then getting rid of it. God, I'm trying to update faster and each time I do a month passes by. I'm sorry for not updating in forever, I know there really are no excuses. Sorry...**

**I'll try to update faster**

**-Poe**

**DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS**

* * *

Alec knew he couldn't hide who he was forever. He knew that his family would eventually find out who he was. There was no escaping the inevitable. But, Alec had hope that he could hold back the news for as long as he could. And, if by the slight sliver of hope that he could he'd still have to hide who he was by marrying a girl and acting like everything was fine. But Alec knew it wasn't going to be like that, it would never be like that. Alec would never truly be free until he could admit the words that scared him to death. But yet, the simple phrase, "I'm gay" would ruin his families name. The Lightwoods would be shamed and thrown out of the tight knit society that they'd been in for centuries. If Alec told people that he was gay, he'd be punished. His father would scream and yell at him, call him worthless. His father would scream cruel names at Alec. His father would blame Alec for the Lightwood's shame. Alec couldn't have that. He couldn't be the person always putting burdens on the family. He couldn't be the one always disappointing the whole family. If this secret came down Alec would be letting to many people down. To Alec it didn't matter if he suffered threw a loveless marriage, as long as nobody suspected he was gay Alec was happy. As long as he kept the Lightwood name strong and pure he'd do anything. Even if that meant becoming someone else. Even if that meant that Alec would have to forget that glittery man Magnus. Alec needed to do this with his family.

* * *

Alec knew he had to do the right thing, hide his sexuality from the world and do everything to please his parents. Yet, somehow he kept messing up. Alec couldn't stop dreaming of the glittery man or prevent himself from looking at boys the way he should be looking at girls. He kept trying to stop but deep down inside Alec knew he never could. Alec couldn't play with fate, he knew that if he kept twisting his fate tighter and tighter everything would just become messed up and everything would just be ten times worse. Yet, this was all Alec could do. All he could do is try to toy with fate. Alec knew that something would happen. He also knew that if he ever told anyone his situation that they would just say to always remain the same. That he shouldn't change for anyone, even if it is to please someone. But, Alec knew that he couldn't take the advice of these people. He knew that he has to go forward with this plan to insure that he protects his family from embarrassment. To Alec, it seemed that if he hid his sexuality then he would protect his family from embarrassment. If Alec was going to do the right thing he had to change who he is completely. He had to know how to flip the switch of straight on and turn the switch of gay off. The question was how was he going to do that? How could his siblings possibly make it look this easy? Alec needed to know the answer, and he needed to know now.

* * *

_Alec leaned forward. "Do you want to go out with me?"_

_Magnus blinked. "See, that's what I mean. Straightforward."_

_Alec chewed his lip and said nothing._

_"Why do you want to go out with me?" Magnus inquired. He was rubbing Chairman Meow's head, his long fingers folding the cat's ears down. "Not that I'm not highly desirable, but the way you asked, it seemed as if you were having some sort of fit —"_

_"I just do," Alec said. "And I thought you liked me, so you'd say yes, and I could try — I mean, we could try —" He put his face in his hands. "Maybe this was a mistake."_

_Magnus' voice was gentle. "Does anyone know you're gay?"_

_Alec's head jerked up; he found he was breathing a little hard, as if he'd run a race. But what could he do, deny it? When he'd come here to do exactly the opposite? "Clary," he said, hoarsely. "Which is . . . Which was an accident. And Izzy, but she'd never say anything."_

_"Not your parents. Not Jace?"_

_Alec thought about Jace knowing, and pushed the thought away, hard and fast. "No. No, and I don't want them to know, especially Jace."_

_"I think you could tell him." Magnus rubbed Chairman Meow under the chin. "He went to pieces like a jigsaw puzzle when he thought you were going to die. He cares —"_

_"I'd rather not." Alec was still breathing quickly. He rubbed at the knees of his jeans with his fists. "I've never had a date," he said in a low voice. "Never kissed anyone. Not ever. Izzy said you liked me and I thought —"_

_"I'm not unsympathetic. But do you like me? Because this being gay business doesn't mean you can just throw yourself at any guy and it'll be fine because he's not a girl. There are still people you like and people you don't."_

_Alec thought of his bedroom back at the Institute, of being in a delirium of pain and poison when Magnus had come in. He had barely recognized him. He was fairly sure he'd been screaming for his parents, for Jace, for Izzy, but his voice would only come out on a whisper. He remembered Magnus' hands on him, his fingers cool and gentle. He remembered the death-grip he'd kept on Magnus' wrist, for hours and hours, even after the pain had passed and he knew he would be all right. He remembered watching Magnus' face in the light of the rising sun, the gold of sunrise sparking gold out of his eyes, and thinking how oddly beautiful he was, with his cat's gaze and grace._

_"Yes," Alec said. "I like you."_

Alec woke up panting. This couldn't be happening, not again. These dreams were supposed to be gone, out of reach. But, know they've come back. Alec could've screamed. He'd been trying so hard to not have these dreams, to conceal them and just forget about them in general. They almost stopped, it been days since the last dream. And now they come back? Why did this only happen to him? It wasn't fair that Alec was the only one in his family that dealt with a man that looked like Magnus. Why couldn't he just control himself?

Alec's head was throbbing, he started to here the voices in his head speak;

_Look at you you can't even pretend to like a girl!_

_You'll always be the joke of the family. _

_No one looks at you like they do Jace._

_Everyone laughs at you._

_You're a disgrace and you always __will be, there is no denying that._

_I can't believe you're the oldest Lightwood!_

* * *

Alec didn't want to do this.

Alec _couldn't_ do this.

Alec had to make a decision.

He knew the right thing to do was just pretend to be straight, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't do that to a girl, he had to do what he needed to do.

Alec knew he was disappointing the family, but with a heavy heart he uttered out the words, "I'm sorry"

Alec had made his final decision.

He made it.


	4. Venti Iced Coffee

**Sorry sorry sorry! I'm so sorry I haven't been updating at all it's just that I've had a lot going on. At the end of April I had testing, during May I was at school everyday till seven rehearsing for the school play, and I've been just cramming to get everything done this month including finals and all this other stuff. I know this isn't really the best excuse for why I haven't updated in forever but it's all I got. Anyway, I'm back! I'm going to be updating more frequently [I'm planning on uploading another chapter tomorrow] and just trying to make this story great. I can tell you that this story will be a lot better because from the time I've had to spare I've been working on my writing and I've become a more defined writer and I can't wait for you guys to see what I've done to my writing. Thank you for not abandoning this story, it means a lot to me that you kept following and favoriting this even though I've been crap at updating. So to all of you, thank you! Also, if I fall behind on writing this again, PM me and say to write ****the chapter [be as harsh as you want]. Sorry if this chapter isn't very good, I'm not good at writing in Magnus's perspective so it's hard to make a really great chapter. Enough of this, I'm just going to say review or PM me if you have anything you want to discuss with me and I'll talk to you and if you like this favorite or follow! Thanks for reading this and on to the story!**

**DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS OF COOPER UNION OR ANYTHING **

* * *

The boy, Alec, has been in Magnus's head more then glitter has. Every time he closes his eyes he sees that most gorgeous creations face. Every time he looks at the color blue he sees that boys brilliant eyes. He truly was something out of the ordinary. No harm could happen to the boy, ever. _This_ boy was in Magnus's definition, an angel; too pure and good to be in this world. Yet, the boy existed [much to Magnus's pleasure] and Magnus knew that gods fine gift to the world walked upon the ground that he to walked on. And he was determined to find that divine creature before he died.

* * *

_ Staring into Alec's eyes; blue and shimmering like the ocean. Slowly looking down at Alec's lips; bowed and tinted a dashing shade of pink. Lingering over the boys figure, looking at his slender neck, and his thin torso. Every part of him; perfect. The way his boy was so thin, like any move you made would break him. He was fragile, and no matter what happened no one could let this boy break. _

"Magnus, you thinking about your blue-eyed beauty again?" asked Catarina

"Hm...what?" said Magnus, as he slipped out of his daydream about Alec

Catarina rolled her eyes and spoke,"I said are you thinking of the blue eyed cutie pie?"

"My dear Catarina, of course I'm thinking of him." Magnus replied

"Why did I even ask?"

"Because you obviously want to know more about this angel."

"Magnus-"

"He has these eyes, these beautiful, beautiful eyes. Also, his cheekbones. Those cheekbones could cut a man. Don't get me started on his abs."

"I get it, he's breathtaking. Can we not talk about him though? I know more about him at this point then I know you." Catarina said with disinterest

"But, can't you just support a friend by letting him swoon over a divine creature called Alec Lightwood?"

Catarina looked up, "Wait...this man you've been lovesick overs name is Alec Lightwood?"

"Yes..?"

"I know him!"

"You know him?!" Magnus said in alarm

"Yeah, his families friends with mine." replied Catarina

"Would you introduce me?" Magnus asked

"I don't know Mag, from what I've seen of Alec he's very shy."

"Then we'll break him out of his shell! This is fantastic news!"

"Mag, he doesn't speak to anyone, ever; and my families known him for a few years"

"My dear kitty Cat, I'll work these things out later. For know I just have to meet him"

Catarina rolled her eyes again, "Alright, I'll set something up."

Magnus squealed, "Fantastic!"

Catarina spoke, "Now can we move on to a different subject?"

"Alright" replied Magnus

* * *

That night Magnus was in a daze. He knew he was being stupid for having a school girl crush on someone who he only dreamt about. But, yet Magnus couldn't help it. Something about his boy was truly breathtaking and it made Magnus feel this way. It was like this boy was casting a spell on him. But, he'd get to meet him soon. Magnus could finally find out who Alec Lightwood truly was.

And Magnus couldn't wait.

* * *

_Alec made his way up to the hill to where Magnus stood on the pathway overlooking the tent. He was leaning against a tree, hands in his pockets, and Alec joined him to watch as Simon, looking as bewildered as a new born ducking, was swarmed by friends: Jace and Maia and Luke, even Jocelyn, crying with happiness as she hugged him, smearing her makeup. Only Isabelle stood apart from the group, her hands clasped in front of her, her face almost expressionless. _

_"You'd almost think she didn't care" said Alec as Magnus reached out to straighten his tie. Magnus had helped him pick out __the suit he was wearing, and was very proud of the fact that it had a slender stripe of blue that brought out Alec's eyes.__"But I'm pretty sure she does."_

_"You're correct," Magnus said. "She cares too much; that's why she's standing apart."_

_"I would ask you what you did, but I'm not sure I want to know," Alec said, leaning his back against Magnus, taking comfort in the solid warmth of the body behind him. Magnus put his chin down on Alec's shoulder, and for a moment they stood motionless together, looking down at the tent and the scene of the happy chaos below. "It was good of you."_

_"You make the choice you have to make at the time," Magnus said in his ear. "You hope for no consequences, or no serious ones."_

_"You don't think you father will be angry do you?" Alec said, and Magnus laughed dryly. _

_"He has a great deal more to pay attention to than me," Magnus said. "What about you? I saw you talking to Robert."_

_Alec felt Magnus's posture tense as he repeated what his father had told him. "You know, I would not have guessed that," Magnus said when Alec was done. "And I've met Michael Wayland." Alec felt him shrug. "Goes to show. 'The heart id forever inexperienced' and all that."_

_"What do you think? Should I forgive hi,?"_

_"I think what he told you was an explanation, but it wasn't an excuse for how he behaved. If you forgive him, do it for yourself, not for him. It's a waste of your time to be angry," Magnus said, "when you're one of the most loving people I've known."_

_"Is that why you forgave? For me, or you?" Alec said, not angry, just curious. _

_"I forgive you because I love you and I hate being without you. I hate it, my cat hates it. And because Catarina convinced me I was being stupid."_

_"Mmm. I like her."_

_Magnus's hand reached around Alec and flattened against his chest, as if he were feeling for his heartbeat. "And you forgive me," he said. "For not being able to make you immortal, or end my own immortality." _

_"There's nothing to forgive," Alec said. "I don't want to live forever." He laid one of his hands over Magnus's, twining their fingers together. "We might not have that much time," said Alec. "I'll get old and I'll die. But I promise I won't leave you until then. It's the only process I can make."_

_"A lot of shadow hunters don't get old," Magnus said. Alec could feel the thrum of his pulse. It was strange, Magnus like this, without the words that usually came to him so easily. _

_Alec turned around in Magnus's embrace so that they faced each other, taking in all the entails that he never got tired of: the sharp bones of Magnus's face, the gold-green of his eyes, the mouth that always seemed about to smile, though he looked worried now. "Even if it were just days, I want to spend them all with you. Does that mean anything?"_

_"Yes," Magnus said. "It means that from now on we make every day matter."_

Magnus woke up to the sound of a phone, and peered at the alarm clock, 7:13 a.m, and groaned, "Who would be calling me at this godforsaken time?"

With a rather sluggish motion Magnus got up to answer the phone, "Hello?" he said in a groggy voice [with a bit of annoyance]

"Magnus?" asked the speaker, who Magnus figured out was Catarina

"What do you want Catarina?"

"I talked to the Lightwoods."

Magnus suddenly got more excited, "What about them?"

"I can't get them to do something for you to meet Alec."

Magnus let out a sigh and lied back down on his bed, "What?"

"Yeah, Alec's starting college and they don't want him to be distracted by anything." said Catarina

Magnus groaned, "Ugh, parents these days."

"I know right?" replied Catarina

"How am I going to meet him now?" asked Magnus

Catarina sighed, "I don't know. Sorry Mag."

"It's alright."said Magnus

"Talk to you later?" asked Catarina

"Alright." Magnus said, with a little hesitance in his voice."

"Okay, bye"

"Bye darling."

Magnus lied in bed thinking; he would never see this boy

* * *

Magnus's alarm clocked blared through the house, this time waking him up at the proper time. Slowly Magnus got up [which was a travesty; he had to leave his nice warm bed to get ready for school] and got dressed. It was just like the last three years; waking up an hour and a half before Magnus's classes started at college to get ready. The system worked. And at 11:30, Magnus was ready to go to school. Magnus walked to the train and took it till he got to the East Village, and 20 minutes later there Magnus was, Cooper Union for his final year of college. He walked through the doors of the school and went to the office.

"I'm back!" yelled Magnus, getting everybody's attention

"Magnus! We missed you!" replied the students there

"Darling of course you did!" replied Magnus

"Tell me about your summer!" squealed the student

"Eventful; went to Italy for the summer and worked for some designers, you know just like every summer."

"That's awesome!"

"How was yours my dearest?" asked Magnus

"Fine, but not as nice as yours." said the girl

Magnus smiled down at the girl, "Anyway, I just came here to get my schedule and work out all this school stuff."

"Of course," replied the girl, "Here's all you paperwork. Have a nice day!"

"You know it! yelled Magnus

The girl mumbled, "That silly boy."

And minutes later another boy walked in, "Hi, my name is Alexander Lightwood. I'm new and I was wondering if someone could help me..."


	5. Tall Chai Tea

**WROTE THE CHAPTER! SUPER PROUD OF MYSELF. Sorry if this is crappy, I wrote it like now and I'm so tired that I can barely read and focus. I'll keep this short since I'm about to fall asleep, PM or review me for any questions or anything you would like me to answer. **

**DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS**

* * *

"Hi, my name is Alexander Lightwood. I'm new and I was wondering if someone could help me." echoed through the room, causing everyone in the office to look at him

A girl spoke, "Hi! I'm Sadie," she stuck her hand out for Alec to shake it, "I'll help you."

Alec played with his sweater, "Thank you... I um, was wondering if you could help me locate my classes?"

"Of course! Let me see your schedule!" said Sadie

Alec reached into his bag and searched around for his schedule, "Uh... here it is."

"Oh wow, you must be quite smart! Your taking a lot of hard courses"

Alec blushed, "Um, thank you"

"Enough with my blabbering, your first class is on the third floor room 14; it's near the stairwell, your next class is on the fifth floor room 4; it's near a water fountain that makes weird noises, the third one is on the first floor in the lecture hall, and your last one is right across the hall from here." said Sadie with a smile

"Thank you again, I, uh, better start heading to class."

"Alrighty then! See you later!" yelled Sadie

"See you later" Alec said in a very small voice

* * *

Alec walked through the hallways of the fifth floor, the sound of his steps echoing throughout the halls, thoughts swarming all around his head.

_Your drawing to much attention._

_Don't ever wear those shoes again._

_Why do you want so much attention?_

_Idiot._

He just needed to get to class; the thoughts would die down as soon as he went to class.

"_Where's _room 4?" Alec mumbled to himself

"Room four's just around the corner!" shouted a girl who was a few feet away from Alec

"Uh, thank you" said Alec

Alec looked down at his shoes and took a breath, "I can do this, I can get to class"

Alec walked around the corner and saw the door next to a water fountain that made an eerie noise, Alec faced the door and held on to the handle, "You can do this Alec. You got this," and with a deep breath he opened the door.

"You must be our new student Alexander! Pleasure to meet you!" said the professor, who stuck out his hand for Alec to shake

Alec took his hand and shook it, "Hi, I'm Alexander or Alec, but you probably already knew that."

The professor smiled at him, "Alec, an even better name. Welcome to class! So, what caused you to decide to take up calculus?"

Alec gave a small smile, "I really like calculus, I just wanted to keep learning it for a few more years."

"You took this course for passion, my kind of student. I think we'll have a wonderful time together." said the professor

Alec gave out a small laugh, "I guess so!"

The professor laughed as well, "Now take your seat, class will begin in a few minutes."

"Okay" said Alec

Alec was making his way to the very back of the class, making sure that no one would notice him during class. Slowly, he bent down to get his notebook and pen out of his backpack, ready to take notes.

"Alright class, class has started." yelled the professor

All the students got into their seats and got ready for the lesson, "Usually I would give you a test today but I'm feeling very happy today and I'm just going to have a note copying lesson today," the students started cheering, "Don't get to excited; you'll have the test at the end of the week."

The students let out a groan, "Now, on to the lesson" said the professor

* * *

An hour in Alec had completely zoned out; the lull of the voices made Alec sleepy and the amount of notes made Alec's hand cramp up. Slowly, Alec slipped into a different world, one where he was free.

_Alec took a deep breath and let it out. Well, he'd come this far; he might as well go on. The bare lightbulb hanging overhead cast sweeping shadows as he reached forward and pressed the buzzer._

_Alec took a deep breath and let it out. Well, he'd come this far; he might as well go on. The bare lightbulb hanging overhead cast sweeping shadows as he reached forward and pressed the buzzer._

_A moment later a voice echoed through the stairwell. "WHO CALLS UPON THE HIGH WARLOCK?"_

_"Er," Alec said. "It's me. I mean, Alec. Alec Lightwood."_

_There was a sort of silence, as if even the hallway itself were surprised. Then a ping, and the second door opened, letting him out onto the stairwell. He headed up the rickety stairs into the darkness, which smelled like pizza and dust. The second floor landing was bright, the door at the far end open. Magnus Bane was leaning in the entryway._

_Compared to the first time Alec has seen him, he looked fairly normal. His black hair still stood up in spikes, and he looked sleepy; his face, even with its cat's eyes, very young. He wore a black t-shirt with the words ONE MILLION DOLLARS picked out across the chest in sequins, and jeans that hung low on his hips, low enough that Alec looked away, down at his own shoes. Which were boring._

_"Alexander Lightwood," said Magnus. He had just the faintest trace of an accent, something Alec couldn't put his finger on, a lilt to his vowels. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"_

_Alec looked past Magnus. "Do you have — company?"_

_Magnus crossed his arms, which did good things for his biceps, and leaned against the side of the door. "Why do you want to know?"_

_"I was hoping I could come in and talk to you."_

_"Hmmm." Magnus' eyes raked him up and down. They really did shine in the dark, like a cat's. "Well, all right then." He turned abruptly away and disappeared into the apartment; after a startled moment, Alec followed._

Alec woke up and whispered to himself, "Another memory of him"

A moment of silence swept through the room, "Alright class, you're free from my imprisonment. You can go." said the professor

The class erupted in cheers, "Have a good day professor!"

"You too!"

Alec looked down at his notebook; nothing was written down. He had to ask if he could copy down somebody's notes. With a sigh, Alec left the room, "Bye Professor"

"Bye Alec!"

College was going to be tough

* * *

Magnus Bane was making his way to the fourth room on the fifth floor of his college, "Sorry Professor, design class went overtime and I was kept hostage in there"

The professor chuckled, "Magnus that's fine. However, all my students already left; including that new one that just left a few minutes ago, uh, Alec. But, it was just notes, copy them from a friend, okay?"

Magnus smiled, "Alright, thanks Professor. I promise I'll get everything done."

"Okay Magnus, now get out I have a class in five"

Magnus laughed, "Alright"

"Oh one more thing, did you see the kid that just left class?" asked the professor

"Afraid not" said Magnus

"Okay" said the professor, and with that Magnus left the room.

After exiting Magnus spoke, "Alec, what a perfect name."


	6. Grande Blonde Coffee

**Sorry I haven't updated in two weeks, I was overseas and had no internet. However, all the chapters are now written out and all I have to do is copy them here.**

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE- THERE WILL BE AN EDIT TO THE FIRST CHAPTER THAT IS CRUCIAL TO THE PLOT OF THE STORY COMING VERY SOON. IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THAT BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING ANY ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Magnus walked into Java Jones, looking for his favorite silver haired boy sitting down.

Magnus yelled, "Jem!"

Jem looked up from his book, "Hm?"

"Jem, you're here" said Magnus as he sat down next to him

"Yes I am, now why did you tell me to come here?" asked Jem

"Because you're my friend, and I wanted to hang out." said Magnus

"Really now?" said Jem

"Fine, I need the notes from todays calc class. Are you happy?" Magnus said with a huff

"Very...since when do you take calculus?" asked Jem

"Since I started college!" yelled Magnus, causing everyone in the cafe to look at him

"Alright," said Jem, "Let me just get my notebook from my bag."

"Thank god, Jem, you're a life savor."

"Alright" said Jem

"Thank you again!" said Magnus as he packed up his belongings, "Are you staying here?"

"I have to meet Tessa." said Jem

"Well then, I'll be leaving" said Magnus

"Bye" said Jem, as he started reading his book again

"Bye!" said Magnus as he walked out

* * *

_"Did you agree to go out with him because you think the Lightwoods are jerks and you want to show them you can corrupt their baby boy?" asked Catarina._

_Magnus balanced his feet on Chairman Meow. "I do think the Lightwoods are jerks," he admitted. "And that does sound like something I'd do. Damn it."_

_"No, it doesn't really," said Catarina. "You're sarcastic twelve hours a day, but you're almost never spiteful. You have a good heart under all the glitter."_

_Catarina was the one with the good heart. Magnus knew exactly whose son he was, and where he came from._

_"Even if it was spite, no one could blame you, not after the Circle, after all that happened."_

_Magnus looked out the window. There was a Polish restaurant across the street from his house, its flashing lights advertising twenty-four-hour borscht and coffee (hopefully not mixed together). He thought of the way Alec's hands had trembled when he'd asked Magnus if he wanted to go out, about how glad and astounded he had seemed when Magnus said yes._

_"No," he said. "It's probably a bad idea—it's probably my worst idea this decade—but it had nothing to do with his parents at all. I said yes because of him."_

_Catarina was quiet for a few moments. If Ragnor was around he would have laughed, but Ragnor had disappeared to a spa in Switzerland for a series of complicated facials meant to bring out the green in his complexion. Catarina had the instinct of a healer: she knew when to be kind._

_"Good luck on your date, then," she said at last._

_"Much appreciated, but I don't need good luck; I need assistance," said Magnus. "Just because I'm going on this date does not mean it will go well. I'm very charming, but it does take two to tango."_

_"Magnus, remember what happened the last time you tried to tango. Your shoe flew off and nearly killed someone."_

_"It was a metaphor. He's a Shadowhunter, he's a Lightwood, and he's into blonds. He's a dating hazard. I need an escape strategy. If the date is a complete disaster, I'll text you. I'll say 'Blue Squirrel, this is Hot Fox. Mission to be aborted with extreme prejudice.' Then you call me and you tell me that there is a terrible emergency that requires my expert warlock assistance."_

_"This seems unnecessarily complicated. It's your phone, Magnus; there's no need for code names."_

_"Fine. I'll just text 'Abort.'" Magnus reached out and drew his fingers from Chairman Meow's head to his tail; Chairman Meow stretched and purred his enthusiastic approval of Magnus's taste in men. "Will you help me?"_

_Catarina dragged in a long, annoyed breath. "I will help you," she promised. "But you've called in all your dating favors for this century, and you owe me."_

_"It's a bargain," said Magnus._

_"And if it all works out," said Catarina, cackling, "I want to be best woman at your wedding."_

Magnus stepped out of his daydream of Alec, and looked around at his scenario; he was taking a leisurely stroll through the park to get back to his house, watching the pigeons waddle around, the couples walking around, and the old lady feeding the birds pieces of bread. It was nice; it was relaxing.

Magnus sighed, "What a lovely day."

Taking his slow time Magnus made his way into the subway; fishing through his pockets to find his metro card he stumbled upon a pocket watch. Jem's pocket watch.

"Crap, I gotta go return this, and quick." said Magnus

Making his way back to Java Jones as quickly as he could Magnus continued to speak to himself, "I can do this, I can return this to Jem before he leaves." Soon enough Magnus made his way back to Java Jones, and opened the door, making the doorbells ring, "Jem?" Magnus yelled throughout the store.

Jem turned around and looked over towards the direction of the door way, "Magnus?"

Magnus walked over, "Somehow I must have pick pocketed you or something because I have your pocket watch."

"Oh thank you Magnus, I would have missed this dearly if you didn't notice."

"Welcome." said Magnus, as he walked out of the store

He seems quite lost today or is it just me?" asked Tessa after Magnus left

"I think he is." said Jem

"I'll ring him later and ask what's going on, alright?" said Tessa

Jem nodded in agreement, "Seems like a good plan."

The doorbells rang once more, "Is that Magnus again?" asked Tessa in despair

"No. actually. I think it's the new boy in calc class. His name is uh, Alec! Magnus has the biggest crush on him." said Jem

Tessa got up and smoothed her skirt, "Should I talk to him?"

Jem took her hand and sat her back down, "Let's let Magnus sort this one out, alright?"

"Alright." said Tessa

* * *

"Hi, can I get an ice coffee please?"

"Sure what's your name?"

"Alec."


	7. Tall Americano

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE- THERE WILL BE AN EDIT TO THE FIRST CHAPTER THAT IS CRUCIAL TO THE PLOT OF THE STORY COMING VERY SOON. IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THAT BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING ANY ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

"Hi, can I get an ice coffee?" asked Alec

"Sure, what's your name?" asked the barista

"Alec."

"Cool name, alright, one ice coffee for Alec." shouted the barista, much to Alec's embarrassment

Alec sat down at a nearby table and waited for his name to be called. He thought about tedious things, made sure he finished all his work for calc class, and then his thoughts wandered to Magnus. Alec missed seeing his cat like eyes in his dream, and his calming voice soothing him. Lately, he hasn't dreamt of Magnus at all; with the stop of his dreams of Magnus, Alec felt lonely. Lonelier then usual, it wasn't ideal. But, it was better for his parents; didn't have to worry about their son dreaming about a boy.

"Alec! Ice coffee for Alec!" shouted the barista, stopping Alec's train of thought

Alec quickly got up and got his drink, and sat right back down. Alec took out his phone and checked for any messages from his brother or sister, "What's taking them so long to get here?" Alec said, a bit annoyed.

Alec put his phone back in his pocket and sipped on his coffee, a little to sweet but still enjoyable

"I wonder what Magnus is doing..." said Alec, in a very distant tone

_Magnus dropped the snuffbox back onto the desk and picked up the phone, hitting the speed-dial button for Alec's number. When Alec picked up he sounded both harried and hopeful: "Magnus? Have you found anything?"_

_"Nothing. I'm sorry."_

_"Oh." Crushing disappointment made Alec's voice sound small._

_"But I was thinking about parabatai," said Magnus. "When parabatai are especially close, they can sense if the other is dead, or Changed, or —"_

_"I know," said Alec. "I know that. I felt it — for that moment that Jace died, back in Idris. But this isn't like that." Magnus could picture him, eyes blue in his pale face, tugging at a snarled lock of his hair. Alec usually looked like he'd fallen out of bed and into a random pile of clothes, rather than as if he'd actually picked out an outfit, and since Jace had gone missing, he'd started to look like he'd stopped brushing his hair, too. "I just feel nothing."_

_"Like really nothing? As in . . . nothingness?"_

_"Right . . .?" Alec sounded confused._

_"That actually does give me some ideas," said Magnus. "I'll do everything I can to help, you know that, right, Alexander? Not because it's the Clave, but because it's you."_

_"I know." Alec was silent for a moment. "It's good to hear your voice, even if you can't help," Alec added, and hung up abruptly._

"Alec! Snap out of it. We're here!" said Jace

Alec yawned, effectively ending his daydream and looked directly at Jace's golden face, "What?"

"We met you here like we planned." said Izzy, while picking at her nails

Alec checked his watch, "45 minutes late!"

"Hey we still came." said Jace

'I suppose." said Alec

"What's with you?" asked Izzy

"Nothing!" said Ale, a bit agitated

"Alright" said Izzy

"I have a class in 20, so we better make this quick." said Alec

"Can't you skip? Come on, this is bonding time, you can't leave!"

"Iz, I care about school and I don't want my teachers to have a bad image of me."

"Alright." said both Izzy and Jace

"So, how's your lives?" asked Alec

"Well, Jace is finally on one girl only and it's working out well actually." said Izzy

"And Izzy's dating my girlfriends nerdy best friend." said Jace

Alec clapped, "Wow, both of you are out of your comfort zone. Jace your actually only dating one girl and Izzy's dating a nerd. This is mind-blowing!"

Jace and Izzy rolled their eyes, "What about you? Are you dating anyone?" asked Izzy

"No." said Alec

"Alright then, but I'm warning you. At the rate your going now your going to have loads and loads of cats and name them clever names." said Izzy

"Yeah, like Chairman Meow." said Jace

"How'd you come up with that? asked Alec

"Learning about him, Mao, Meow, you know." said Jace

"Okay then." said Alec

Alec looked at his watch, "Crap, I gotta go. Good bonding time. Next time, longer alright?" Alec started collecting his cup and schoolwork and rushing out of the door

"He's so weird." said Izzy

Jace sighed, "Your not wrong."

* * *

Alec ran into the doors of the calculus room, with barely seconds to spare. Catching his breath he made his way to a seat and sat down. Getting his supplies out Alec got ready for class to start.

A girls hand appeared right in front of Alec's face, "Hi! I'm Catarina."

Alec took her hand and gave it a firm shake, "I'm Alec, Alec Lightwood."

Catarina stared at him for a second then became all jittery, "No way, no way."

"What?" Alec asked, worried

"Uh, nothing," she said raising her hand, "Teach, can I go outside for a minute to make a call?"

The professor chuckled, "Of course Catarina, just don't take to long."

"Okay!" said Catarina, skipping down the stairs of the seats to the hallway outside. Getting out her phone, Catarina dialed in Magnus's number in quickly, "Come on Magnus, pick up, pick up, pick up."

"What?" came a groggy voice

"I found Alec!" said Catarina, jumping up and down a bit

"What?!" said Magnus

"He's in calc class with me, come now." replied Catarina

"Alright, I'm coming." said Magnus

Catarina smiled, "This is really happening!" she said in a sing-song voice as she walked back to her seat in class.


	8. Venti Vanilla Latte

**Hi, I've been updating a lot because all the chapters have been written but I'm afraid to tell you that I'm going to be going to a friends house until July 11th. SORRY! But I promise that the rest of the chapters will be updated quickly after this. Like 3 days max before an update during the summer.**

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE- THERE WILL BE AN EDIT TO THE FIRST CHAPTER THAT IS CRUCIAL TO THE PLOT OF THE STORY COMING VERY SOON. IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT THAT YOU READ THAT BEFORE YOU CONTINUE READING ANY ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS.**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Magnus's phone blared throughout the silent house, "Who's waking me up ay this godforsaken hour?" mumbled Magnus

Magnus lifted up his phone and looked at the caller ID, "Catarina." Magnus sneered

Ending the ringing, Magnus answered the call, "What?" he said with a twinge of spite and grogginess in his voice

"I found Alec." said Catarina

"What?!" said Magnus, suddenly more excited

"Yeah, he's in my calc class." Come quick!"

"Alright, I'm going." with that Magnus hung up on her

Magnus made a made dash after the phone call to the bathroom; brushing his teeth and getting his hair done. Sniffing his arm for any unpleasantness he spoke, "I smell pleasant enough, I don't need to shower." Quickly, Magnus went into his closet. He didn't have time to pick the perfect outfit out, but he could still try to pick an okay outfit.

* * *

Magnus smoothed out any wrinkles in his outfit and looked in the mirror, "I'm going to meet him." he said in a singsong voice

"Oh my god, I'm going to meet him." said Magnus, as he walked out of his house with a spring to his step [as well as a but of haste] to the subway and into the station.

* * *

Magnus was waiting at the station, "What's taking so long?"

"Just be patient, it's coming in two minutes." said a stranger

"And how would you know?" asked Magnus

The stranger pointed at a nearby screen showing how much more time till a train arrives, "Because I can read."

Magnus sighed, "Alrighty then."

The rest of the wait was silent. Magnus soon started to become impatient; class was going to end soon,and by this rate Magnus would never meet Alec.

"Can you please stop tapping your for?" asked the stranger

"I'm bothering you for a foot tap? I'm kind of impatient if you can't tell so excuse me if I'm tapping my foot!" said Magnus, "Anyway, if we keep bothering each other can I at least know your name?"

The strangers spoke, "Ragnor, Ragnor Fell."

"Well, hello Ragnor Fell." said Alec

"Hi." answered Ragnor

"What are you so anxious about?" asked Ragnor

"This guy I'm meeting." said Magnus

"Oh." said Ragnor

The train arrived, "Thank god, I thought this train would never arrive." said Magnus

"That anxious?" asked Ragnor

"I guess so." said Magnus

"Well get on the train so you can go meet your guy!" said Ragnor

"Okay." said Magnus

Getting on, Magnus sat on the seat and waited for his stop.

* * *

_It was Alec who spoke first. "What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there._

_"It's a girl," Jace said, recovering his composure. "Surely you've seen girls before, Alec. Your sister Isabelle is one." He took a step closer to Clary, squinting as if he couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. "A mundie girl," he said, half to himself. "And she can see us."_

_"Of course I can see you," Clary said. "I'm not blind, you know."_

_"Oh, but you are," said Jace, bending to pick up his knife. "You just don't know it." He straightened up. "You'd better get out of here, if you know what's good for you."_

_"I'm not going anywhere," Clary said. "If I do, you'll kill him." She pointed at the boy with the blue hair._

_"That's true," admitted Jace, twirling the knife between his fingers. "What do you care if I kill him or not?"_

_"Be-because -" Clary spluttered. "You can't just go around killing people."_

_"You're right," said Jace. "You can't go around killing people." He pointed at the boy with blue hair, whose eyes were slitted. Clary wondered if he'd fainted. "That's not a person, little girl. It may look like a person and talk like a person and maybe even bleed like a person. But it's a monster."_

_"Jace," said Isabelle warningly. "That's enough."_

_"You're crazy," Clary said, backing away from him. "I've called the police, you know. They'll be here any second."_

_"She's lying," said Alec, but there was doubt on his face. "Jace, do you -"_

_He never got to finish his sentence. At that moment the blue-haired boy, with a high, yowling cry, tore free of the restraints binding him to the pillar, and flung himself on Jace. They fell to the ground and rolled together, the blue-haired boy tearing at Jace with hands that glittered as if tipped with metal. Clary backed up, wanting to run, but her feet caught on a loop of wiring and she went down, knocking the breath out of her chest. She could hear Isabelle shrieking._

_Rolling over, Clary saw the blue-haired boy sitting on Jace's chest. Blood gleamed at the tips of his razorlike claws. Isabelle and Alec were running toward them, Isabelle brandishing her whip in her hand. The blue-haired boy slashed at Jace with claws extended. Jace threw an arm up to protect himself, and the claws raked it, splattering blood. The blue-haired boy lunged again - and the whip came down across his back. He shrieked and fell to the side._

_Swift as a flick of Isabelle's whip, Jace rolled over. There was a blade gleaming in his hand. He sank the knife into the boy's chest. Blackish liquid exploded around the hilt._

_The boy arched off the floor, gurgling and twisting. With a grimace Jace stood up. His black shirt was blacker now in some places, wet with blood. He looked down at the twitching thing at his feet, reached down, and yanked out the knife. The hilt was slick with black fluid._

_The blue-haired boy's eyes flickered open. His eyes, fixed on Jace, seemed to burn. Between his teeth, he hissed, "So be it. The Forsaken will take you all."_

_Jace seemed to snarl. The boy's eyes rolled back. His body began to jerk and twitch as he crumpled, folding in on himself, growing smaller and smaller until he vanished entirely. Clary scrambled to her feet, kicking free of the electrical wiring. She began to back away. None of them was paying attention to her. Alec had reached Jace and was holding his arm, pulling at the sleeve, probably trying to get a good look at the wound._

_Clary turned to run - and found her way blocked by Isabelle, whip in hand. The gold length of it was stained with dark fluid. She flicked it toward Clary, and the end wrapped itself around her wrist and jerked tight. Clary gasped with pain and surprise._

_"Stupid little mundie," Isabelle said between her teeth. "You could have gotten Jace killed."_

_"He's crazy," Clary said, trying to pull her wrist back. The whip bit deeper into her skin. "You're all crazy. What do you think you are, vigilante killers? The police -"_

_"The police aren't usually interested unless you can produce a body," said Jace. Cradling his arm, he picked his way across the cable-strewn floor toward Clary. Alec followed behind him, face screwed into a scowl._

_Clary glanced at the spot where the boy had disappeared from, and said nothing. There wasn't even a smear of blood there - nothing to show that the boy had ever existed. "They return to their home dimensions when they die," said Jace. "In case you were wondering."_

_"Jace," Alec hissed. "Be careful."_

_Jace drew his arm away. A ghoulish freckling of blood marked his face. He still reminded her of a lion, with his widely spaced, light-colored eyes, and that tawny gold hair. "She can see us, Alec," he said. "She already knows too much."_

_"So what do you want me to do with her?" Isabelle demanded._

_"Let her go," Jace said quietly. Isabelle shot him a surprised, almost angry look, but didn't argue. The whip slithered away, freeing Clary's arm. She rubbed her sore wrist and wondered how the hell she was going to get out of there._

_"Maybe we should bring her back with us," Alec said. "I bet Hodge would like to talk to her."_

_"No way are we bringing her to the Institute," said Isabelle. "She's a mundie."_

_"Or is she?" said Jace softly. His quiet tone was worse than Isabelle's snapping or Alec's anger. "Have you had dealings with demons, little girl? Walked with warlocks, talked with the Night Children? Have you -"_

_"My name is not 'little girl,'" Clary interrupted. "And I have no idea what you're talking about." Don't you? said a voice in the back of her head. You saw that boy vanish into thin air. Jace isn't crazy - you just wish he was. "I don't believe in - in demons, or whatever you -"_

_"Clary?" It was Simon's voice. She whirled around. He was standing by the storage room door. One of the burly bouncers who'd been stamping hands at the front door was next to him._

_"Are you okay?" He peered at her through the gloom. "Why are you in here by yourself? What happened to the guys - you know, the ones with the knives?"_

_Clary stared at him, then looked behind her, where Jace, Isabelle, and Alec stood, Jace still in his bloody shirt with the knife in his hand. He grinned at her and dropped a half-apologetic, half-mocking shrug. Clearly he wasn't surprised that neither Simon nor the bouncer could see them._

_Somehow neither was Clary. Slowly she turned back to Simon, knowing how she must look to him, standing alone in a damp storage room, her feet tangled in bright plastic wiring cables._

_"I thought they went in here," she said lamely. "But I guess they didn't. I'm sorry." She glanced from Simon, whose expression was changing from worried to embarrassed, to the bouncer, who just looked annoyed. "It was a mistake."_

_Behind her, Isabelle giggled._

Magnus regained consciousness, "The boys silent, cute and silent. Just my type."

Waiting for the train to arrive in his stop, Magnus was preparing to sprint all the way to class to see Alec, "I got this, all I have to do is run." Magnus muttered to himself, ""I've done this before, it shouldn't be that hard. "

Ragnor look at Magnus, "Good luck."

Magnus smiled, "Thanks."

The train doors opened and Magnus sprinted towards school. Everything was whooshing past Magnus, but it didn't matter, nothing mattered unless it had to do with Alec. The world could be falling apart for all Magnus cared and as long as Magnus got to Alec that was all that mattered.

"Jut gotta make it before the bell rings." said Magnus, as he skipped up the steps

Taking the final step to the classroom, Magnus opened the door; to be greeted to everyone leaving the room. Looking around for Alec through the sea of people Magnus couldn't find Alec.

"I can't see him." Magnus muttered

After everyone left Magnus went inside to look around the classroom, "Magnus! What a pleasant surprise to see you here!" said the professor

"Yeah, I thought I would just drop by and say hello." said Magnus

"Well, as you know, your always welcome here and hello right back." said the professor

"Thank you, I'll be back tomorrow for class!"

"Alright then Magnus!"

* * *

Alec was packing up his supplies while a very tall student with outrageous hair was talking to the teacher about dropping by and saying hi. Quietly, Alec slipped out of the room while the teacher was still talking. While walking down the hall Alec heard a voice from the teachers room, "Alright then Magnus!"

Alec froze, Magnus was in that room. He should go in, "I can't of in it's for my parents good." said Alec, as he continues to walk. Alec got into the elevator and took it down to the lobby. Minutes later, Magnus took the elevator down too, with a defeated look on his face, "I'll never find him." muttered Magnus


	9. Grande Earl Grey Tea

**Hey! I'm back from my vacation full time, so I can really focus my attention on this now.**

**IMPORTANT NOTICE-**

**THE FIRST CHAPTER HAS BEEN EDITED AND POSTED, PLEASE READ THAT CHAPTER BEFORE YOU PROCEED TO READ ANY MORE. **

**Now that that's out of the way let me just say this, this chapter isn't the greatest one I'd ever written. It's actually kind of crappy compared to some of the other ones, and I'm sorry that it's not the best. It's just, this chapter was SO hard for me to write. Hope you guys understand! **

**DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS **

**Any questions or anything please PM me or review. Also, reviews make my little heart sing!**

* * *

Alec opened the doors of Cooper Union and stepped outside on to the chilly streets of Astor Place. He swung his backpack around to his torso and digged through his bag to get some earbuds, he then put the earbuds on and started making his way back to his parents house. While walking, Alec looked down at his feet; watching as his feet moved to the pace of the classical music he was listening to. It was quite intriguing, seeing how his feet knew the beat of the music so quickly.

A cold gust of wind past Alec, "Global warming, it's the end of September and it's freezing. Geez, I just can't wait for December."

Wrapping his coat tightly around his waist, Alec began to walk faster; wanting to get home quickly. Another gust of wind swept past him, "By the angel, what did the human raise do to make it this cold outside?"

He started to walk faster; slightly jogging, "If I had something warm I could actually survive this freezing cold weather. If only."

Alec thought for a minute and began laughing a bit, Alec spoke, "I'm going to have to tell about my eventful day at dinner. By the angel."

Alec went over the days event in his head; brother/sister bonding time, calculus class, almost meeting Magnus [which he doubted he would tell his family about]. What _could_ he tell his family about? His siblings probably already told his parents about their meeting earlier, his calculus class was beyond boring, and there was no way that Alec would tell his family that he almost saw the man he had dreams about. What else was their? Lie about his day? It seemed as if it was the only answer, he had to lie to his own family.

"God, why am I such an idiot?" Alec mumbled, "Why do I have to live I life like this? Why am I the person that has to lie to his family so they don't find out about me being gay?"

Stopping for the light Alec thought for a moment, "I can't live like this, I gotta do it, I gotta come out, he sighed, "Jace and Izzy will understand. So will Max. I can do this." Alec noticed the light change and crossed the street, getting him closer to his parents house.

Alec sighed and diverted his mind away from his complicated thoughts, he needed a break from all of this. He just needed a short break from all of this. He let his mind drift away to a less complicated world, a world where he could be himself; his mind.

_Isabelle snorted. 'All the boys are gay. In this truck, anyway_

_Well, not you, Simon.'_

_'You noticed' said Simon._

_'I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual,' added Magnus._

_'Please never say those words in front of my parents,' said Alec. 'Especially my father.'_

_'I thought your parents were okay with you, you know, coming out,' Simon said, leaning around Isabelle to look at Alec, who was — as he often was — scowling, and pushing his floppy dark hair out of his eyes. Aside from the occasional exchange, Simon had never talked to Alec much. He wasn't an easy person to get to know. But, Simon admitted to himself, his own recent estrangement from his mother made him more curious about Alec's answer than he would have been otherwise._

_'My mother seems to have accepted it,' Alec said. 'But my father — no, not really. Once he asked me what I thought had turned me gay.'_

_Simon felt Isabelle tense next to him. 'Turned you gay?' She sounded incredulous. 'Alec, you didn't tell me that.'_

_'I hope you told him you were bitten by a gay spider,' said Simon._

_Magnus snorted; Isabelle looked confused. 'I've read Magnus's stash of comics,' said Alec, 'so I actually know what you're talking about' A small smile played around his mouth. 'So would that give me the proportional gayness of a spider?'_

_'Only if it was a really gay spider,' said Magnus, and he yelled as Alec punched him in the arm. 'Ow, okay, never mind."_

* * *

Alec took his keys out and unlocked the door, "I'm home." he said to no one in particular

Walking up the staircase Alec made his way to his room. Opening the door Alec looked around and started to walk around his room. Alec ran his fingers on his violin lying on his dresser. He continued walking around, running his hand along the dark blue walls. Alec finally walked to his bed and sat down, dropping his bag down in the process and brushed his hand through his hair, "I can do this." said Alec.

"I can do this." Alec whispered to himself, he then got up and walked down the hall to his sisters room. Alec arrived right in front of Izzy's door and knocked on it, "Iz, can I talk to you?"

There were footsteps approaching the door and it opened, "What's up?" said Izzy

"Can I come in?" asked Alec

Izzy gave Alec a confused look, "Yeah sure, you didn't need to ask."

"It's important we close the door." said Alec in a hushed voice

"Why?" asked Izzy

Alec looked at Izzy, "Please Iz?"

Izzy sighed, "Alright"

Alec closed the door and took a deep breath, "All my life I've been different then the rest of the family. I've been less confident and I hated myself. I hated how everyone else in this family was so put together, so confident. I hated how I was the only one who was different. I hated myself."


	10. Tall Iced Mocha Latte

**Honestly, I didn't really know if I wanted to continue this story at one point. I just, I've been getting so little notice on this fic, I started to think that nobody cared about it. And I didn't mean this in a mean way, it's just every other story I've written had gotten so much more notice and this was just very discouraging. I just thought that there was no point to finishing this story if no one was reading it. And at one point during these last three days, I really considered dropping this story. And it was sad. I thought this story had so much potential and I worked so hard on it, but I was just ready to drop it. And I actually decided that after I wrote this chapter and the next one I'd just put it on hiatus, wait for me to actually feel like this fic was good. But, I decided against it. I got this one review that warmed my heart. That review was the review that made me want to continue this story, because it reminded me of what it was like to feel accomplished about writing a chapter and people liking it. And it was really nice because I haven't gotten something like that in a long time. The review said, "I love these scenes from the books that you include they're awesome! You're so dedicated, and I love this fic. Hope you know I adore you and that you have a great day/night", it was sent by laurenathalasa, and I was so happy when I read that. That one little comment meant so much to me, that comment made me want to keep writing this, so thank you laurenathalasa. I want to personally say that I would dedicate this chapter to you but it's really not my best work and I want you to have an awesome chapter [dedicated to you I mean] so the next chapter is in dedication to you. However, this can be an honorary dedication. **

**Thank you laurenathalasa!**

**I do not own Mortal Instruments, all rights belong to Cassandra Claire.**

* * *

Magnus unlocked the doors to his apartment; dropped them and his bag on the nearby table and dragged himself to his bedroom. There, in that darkly lit room, Magnus crashed on to his bed and curled up; drunk in his misery.

Magnus sighed, "I give up! I'll never find Alec."

Magnus untucked his duvet from the corner of the bed and lied beneath it, curling into a fetal position. He then leaned across his bed to get the TV remote left astray to turn on the TV, settling for any channel. After sitting there for a few minutes staring at the screen, Magnus reached for his nightstand again to get his phone. Dialing Catarina's phone number, Magnus waited for her to pick up. One ring. Two ring. Three ring. Finally, Catarina picked up the phone [and much to Magnus's relief]

"Hey Mag, what's up?" asked Catarina

Magnus began to sob, "I'll never find Alec. I'll just be miserable for the rest of my life living with my cleverly named cats."

"Oh Mag, don't say that!" said Catarina

Magnus let another sob out, "Why not Cat? I'm pathetic."

Catarina sighed, "No Magnus, you're not pathetic. You're anything but pathetic."

Magnus sniffed, "You're just saying that because your my friend."

"No, Mag, I'm saying that because it's the truth." said Catarina

"It still doesn't matter, I won't be able to find Alec!" replied Magnus

Catarina took a deep breath, "It was one time, I'm sure you'll be able to find him again."

"You promise?" asked Magnus

"I pinky promise," said Catarina, "Alright now, you take a nap, get your mind off of things. Call me back later if you're still sad."

"Okay," Magnus grumbled, "I guess I'll do that."

Magnus hung up the phone and put it back on the nightstand, after that, he took a deep breath, "Okay, just relax. Think about all these things later. Just take a short nap," Magnus yawned, "That's defiantly possible now."

Magnus closed his eyes and waited for sleep to lull him in; he couldn't wait.

* * *

_You never called me back," he said. "I called you so many times and you never called me back."_

_Magnus looked at Alec as if he'd lost his mind. "Your city is under attack," he said. "The wards have been broken, and the streets are full of demons. And you want to know why I haven't called you?"_

_Alec set his jaw in a stubborn line. "I want to know why you haven't called me back."_

_Magnus threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of utter exasperation. Alec noted with interest that when he did it, a few sparks escaped from his fingertips, like fireflies escaping from a jar. "You're an idiot."_

_"Is that why you haven't called me? Because I'm an idiot?"_

_"No." Magnus strode toward him. "I didn't call you because I'm tired of you only wanting me around when you need something. I'm tired of watching you be in love with someone else - someone, incidentally, who will never love you back. Not the way I do."_

_"You love me?"_

_"You stupid Nephilim," Magnus said patiently. "Why else am I here? Why else would I have spent the past few weeks patching up all your moronic friends every time they got hurt? And getting you out of every ridiculous situation you found yourself in? Not to mention helping you win a battle against Valentine. And all completely free of charge!_

Magnus woke up from his beautiful, beautiful dream. Alec was back in his life, he just couldn't give that up. He didn't care for how little Alec is in his life, he was still part of his life. And cutting him off like that, cutting him off like that seemed like such a lowlife thing to do. Alec deserves to be part of his life no matter what, regardless of how hard it is to actually find him. Alec deserves the best, and the best Magnus has to offer is to keep him as part of his life.

"I'll find this boy no matter what, no matter how long it takes or how much money it takes. He deserves all of this. If I could do it then, then I can do this now."

Magnus was set, he would find Alec Lightwood.

* * *

**Questions, anything you want to say, PM me or review! Reviews make my heart sing and inspire me to write faster!**

**-Poe**


	11. Venti Cappuccino

**Hey! Sorry for the late update, I had friends over and I wasn't able to access my computer for that time. But, I'm back! Now that that's out of the way I want to say something, THERE IS NO FLASHBACK IN THIS CHAPTER!, that's it. **

**Thank you to laurenathalasa! This chapter is dedicated to you again!**

**DISCLAIMER- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Alec closed the door and took a deep breath, "All my life I've been different then the rest of the family. I've been less confident and I hated myself. I hated how everyone else in this family was so put together, so confident. I hated how I was the only one who was different. I hated myself," Alec took a deep breath, "And then I really started to notice what made me so different.

Izzy wiped a tear away,"What do you mean?"

Alec took another breath, "Everything that mom and dad said made me so scared to tell the truth. That I would be a misfit, no one would like me or understand me. That everyone would think I was a freak. So I kept quiet. But, since I kept quiet I hated myself, I hated who I had become. I hated how I spent ever minute lying to myself and everyone else. I've just become something I'm not and this stupid secret is what's making me like this. And honestly, I don't think I can hide it anymore. I just don't think that I'm capable of playing this sick game anymore. I don't think, I know I'm not capable of this anymore. And I'm just done with this, done with hiding all of this. I don't want to live my life with regret, and if I don't tell anyone about this I'll spend every minute regretting my decision."

"Alec, please just tell me!" begged Izzy

"I know I need to tell you this, it's something I have to do for myself. Something I _need_ to do for myself. And I want to say that I'm not like you, Jace, mom, or dad. I can't be like you guys no matter what I try. I just wasn't born like any of you and-"

Izzy cut him off, "You're not saying-"

"I'm sorry I but this burden on you. I understand if you hate me. I get it. If you never want to talk to me again, I get it."

Izzy wiped away a tear from her eye and chuckled, "I could never do that to you, you're my brother."

"No, what I'm about to tell you really is awful." said Alec

"You could never do anything awful." said Izzy, in a calm voice

"I'm gay." said Alec

Izzy gasped, "Oh my god," she quickly got up and hugged Alec, "Oh my god," wiping away Alec's tears with her thumb, Izzy hugged him, "It's going to be fine. We'll get through this together." Izzy whispered in Alec's ear

Alec let out a sob, "They'll hate me. I don't deserve to be part of this family."

Izzy gave Alec a weak smile, "Don't think that way. You will _always _deserve to be part of this family."

Alec gave her a weak smile, "Thank you for being the best brother ever."

Alec laughed, "What about Jace?"

Don't tell him I told you that I prefer you as a brother." said Izzy

A voice came from outside, "I'm so hurt, I could just cry. All this time I thought I was the favorite brother."

Izzy laughed, "Okay, revision. Alec is my favorite older biological brother, Jace is my favorite adopted brother."

The boys laughed, and Jace spoke, "And you're my favorite sister."

Izzy laughed and smacked Jace lightly on the shoulder, "I'm your only sister."

Jace shrugged, "Same difference."

There was a silence between the three siblings, "So I heard you're gay." said Jace

Alec sighed, "I am."

Jace stayed silent for a moment, "I support you."

Alec smiled, "Thank you."

Jace and Izzy looked at each other and nodded, "We'll do anything to help you."

Alec smiled, "Seriously, thank you."

The three of them held hands and stayed in a peaceful silence. Then, Izzy laughed, "I have three people on a queen bed. One is six feet tall and super skinny, the other is one inch shorter than the other and is super buff. How do we even fit on this bed?!"

Alec spoke, "It's beyond my imagination."

Jace laughed, "You're the college student taking advanced courses."

"I don't take courses that help me figure out how we all fit on this bed!" said Alec

Izzy laughed, "You're an idiot."

There was a knock on the door, "Come in!" said Izzy

The door creaked open slowly and Max walked in, "I heard you guys all talking and I wanted to know what was going on."

Alec sat up from Izzy's bed, "Nothing, we were just talking."

Max turned his head to the side, "Talking about what?"

Izzy laughed, "Believe it or not, Alec."

"Well, what about Alec?" asked Max

"That he's special." said Izzy

"How so?" said Max

Alec got up and sat Max down, "I'm gay Max. It means that I don't like girls but I like boys."

Max smiled, "Alright then."

Alec chuckled, "You're okay with this?"

Max smiled, "If it makes you feel happy then I'm okay with it."

Alec gave him a fist bump and ruffled his hair, "Thanks for understanding buddy."

"Your welcome." said Max

"Alright, now don't tell mom and dad, alright?" asked Alec

"Alright!" said Max

"Okay, you can go." said Alec

Jace spoke, "Little kids. They're incredibly understanding."

Alec sighed, "If only parents were the same."

"If only." said Izzy

* * *

He could do this; he could tell his parents.

"There's no turning back now." Alec muttered to himself

Knocking on the door to his parents room, Alec waited for his parents to speak; fear bubbling up.

"Come in love!" said Alec's mom

Alec opened the door and walked into his parents room, "Hi mom, dad."

"Hello love, what brings you here?" asked Maryse

"I wanted to talk to you guys about something." said Alec

"What do you want to talk about?" came a rough voice, Robert

"I-um, I'm gay." said Alec, in a rather quiet voice

"What?" asked Robert

"I'm gay." said Alec, again

"What did you just say?"asked Robert, his voice starting to become agitated

"I like boys." said Alec

Robert slammed the wall of his room, "No son of mine will like boys:

"Dad! It's not a choice. I didn't chose to be this way." said Alec

"No! It was _your _choice to like boys. Not something you were born with. I didn't conceive a defect!" yelled Robert

"Robert!" yelled Maryse

"Shut up!" shouted Robert

"Don't say that to her!" said Alec

"Why should I listen to you! You're just a defect!" growled Robert

"Who's fault is it that I'm a defect? You, you're the one that passed these genes to me!" yelled Alec

"Don't blame me for your stupid decision to like boys!" said Robert

"My decision? You're blaming me?" screamed Alec, "Why couldn't you just be supportive? Why couldn't you just be a normal parent? Why don't you care about your kid like anyone else?"

Robert punched the wall, "Because you're not normal! You're just a defect of society. You don't make any sense!"

"Neither does the fact you sent support your own son!" yelled Alec

"You're no son of mine. You don't deserve to be part of this household, get out." said Robert, coldly

"Robert! You can't just tell our son to get out!" yelled Maryse

"I can if he's no son of mine. He's a stranger, and it's illegal to trespass." Robert opened the door to his room, "Now get out."

Alec sighed, "Fine."

Walking out of his parents room, Alec walked toward his own, "Alec..." said Izzy, as she ran up to her brother, "I'm sorry, if there's anything I can do to help, just please let me know."

"Iz, you've done so much for me already. I'll sort this mess out myself." said Alec

Alec opened the door to his room and packed all of his clothes up in his gym bag. All the memories Alec's had in this room had burned to ash,gone when his parents declared him no longer his own. Everything that had happened in this room, gone. Alec broker down to sobs.

"Alec, my love?" asked a soft voice

Alec turned around, "Yes, mom?"

"Love, I don't want you to think we hate you. We love you so much. It's just, you're dad is having a hard time adjusting to what's happening." said Maryse

"Mom, I don't mean to disrespect you but dad made his decision, he wants me gone. And I'll obey his wishes."

Maryse gave Alec a hug, "Alright love, but if you need anything in the least just call me."

"Mom, you've done everything my whole life, I'll do this on my own." said Alec

"Alright Alec, just stay happy alright?"

"Okay mom."

Maryse stayed silent for a moment, "I remember all the memories you had right here. I remember all of the three in the morning soothes, the late night snuggles, the sick times, I remember everything that happened in this room. But, I never thought the last time we'd be in here together was when you were leaving the house forever."

Alec wiped a tear away, "I love you mom."

Maryse held him tight, "I love you so much my love."

Alec and Maryse let go and Alec walked towards the door of his room, taking one last look around, Alec spoke, "Goodbye."

Maryse gave her eldest son a weak smile, "Goodbye love."

Alec smiled at her, then left the room. Walking down the staircase, Alec made his way towards the front door. Taking a deep breath, Alec opened the door and stepped outside. Gathering his things, Alec began to walk towards school.

The door opened, "Alec wait."

Alec turned around, having a slim hope that that was his dad; instead it was Jace, "Goodbye Jace."

"Bye Alec, " said Jace, as he hugged Alec, "Stay safe." Jace whispered

Alec gave a weak chuckle, "Jace Lightwood, sad and crying. I thought I would never see that coming."

"Shut up, I care about you." said Jace

"Alright then, I gotta go to class. Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember. Head to class." said Jace

"Bye." said Alec

"Bye." said Jace

It was going to be rough, but Alec would make it through all of this. He knew he would.

* * *

Alec ran down the halls of Cooper Union, dashing his way to make sure he would make it to class on time. Turning the corner, Alec walked into class.

"Ah Mr. Lightwood, I was beginning to worry you wouldn't make it to class." said the professor

"I would never miss your class!" said Alec

"Good to know Mr. Lightwood. Now, take a seat, class will began in just a few minutes.

Alec made his way up to a seat and sat down, "Catarina, is that you?"

Catarina smiled, "In the flesh."

"I have a huge favor to ask." said Alec

"Yeah what's up?" asked Catarina

Alec played with his sweater sleeve,"Well, we're kind of close and I was wondering if you could help me find a place to live for a few months. It's just because I came out to my parents and they kicked me out; well my dad kicked me out, and I don't have a lot on money. It's only for a few months, I promise I won't ask you for something like this again. I'll understand if you hate me-"

"No, no. Don't worry about it, I think I know someone who could help you out."

"Thank you!" said Alec

"It's no problem. Now that that's out of the way, let's focus on class."

"Okay." said Alec, turning his attention on the professor

In very messy handwriting, Catarina scribbled something down in her notebook:

_Call Magnus and tell him that Alec can live with him. _


	12. Grande London Fog

**Sorry for all the radio silence recently, I've been working on a lot of summer assignments and honestly I've just been super stressed out. I promise that I haven't forgotten about this story, in fact, it's always on my mind. I love this story and really want to give it justice and make it perfect. It's just I've been working on my summer assignment that I haven't had time to update. I'm sorry :(**

**I'll try to update more, I have it all layer out already.**

**Oh! I'm really happy to say that ****Laurenathalasa, a person that has helped me so much with this fic has made me a trailer! I'm so excited about this and if you'd like to watch it just go to YouTube and type in Laurenathalasa and the video should be there. Thank you again Laurenathalasa, I'm so grateful!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Magnus was lounging on his leather sofa; petting the Chairman while watching a trashy reality TV show, laughing when someone said something absurdly ridiculous. The two [or at least Magnus] were enjoying each others company, purring and talking to each other.

Magnus's phone rang, shaking violently on the glass table, reluctantly, Magnus picked it up, "Hello?"

"Magnus! Hi! I have some exciting news! Seriously, you'll freak out when you hear this. Drop everything." said a voice, Catarina

Magnus gasped, "Drop everything? No Catarina, no. I will not just _drop _everything. I am holding the Chairman right now, and as you know the Chairman deserves the utmost respect. It is just shameful to say drop everything when one is with the Chairman. Also, this is the best we've gotten along in weeks, I can't be expected to give that up!"

"Alright, alright. You don't have to drop the cat-" said Catarina

"Not _the_ cat, the _Chairman_. Anyway, what is this news?"

"Okay, are you ready?" asked Catarina, excitement dripping from her voice

"Born ready." said Magnus flatly

"Alec needs a place to stay for a while; he came out to his parents and they kicked him out. He's really short on money and-"

Magnus screamed, "You gotta be kidding me!"

Catarina sighed, "What?!"

"Remember how a few months ago I sent my designs to some designers in Paris?"

"Yeah, but I hardly know how this relates to why you just screamed and broke my eardrum."

"Catarina, the designers liked my designs; they offered me an internship. I'm leaving today."

There was a silence, "Crap."

"Yeah, crap," said Magnus, "Geez, I ruined everything didn't I?"

"No-"

"Catarina, both me and you know that it's my fault that I can't meet Alec."

"Mag, we'll find a way."

Magnus sighed, "Alright kitten, I trust you."

"I promise it'll work out." said Catarina

Magnus stroked Chairman, "You pinky promise?"

"I pinky promise!" said Catarina

"Alright then, love you babe; I gotta pack and clean up." said Magnus

Catarina giggled, "Okay, talk to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye!"

Magnus hung up the phone and threw the Chairman on the floor, "Suck it up Chairman, we both knew it would come to that."

The Chairman meowed.

* * *

It seemed as if it had been hours since Magnus had been packing his suitcases and cleaning up his house, and Magnus was 110% done with all of this. It was so much work, and for what? Alec wouldn't walk into his room everyday and look inside and say, 'This man is a slob' [which is absolutely true]. But, Alec deserved the best; even if it meant torture for Magnus.

"I swear to god this better be worth it," Magnus gritted through his teeth, "If not I'm going to kill Catarina with my bare hands."

* * *

It was finally time for Magnus to leave and go to the airport; time for him to leave his search for Alec behind for months. It was time for him to come back to reality, and as much as this was an opportunity it seemed as if it was the worst thing Magnus had ever done. Taking one last sweep around the house to make sure everything was nice and neat Magnus made his way to the Chairman.

Kneeling down to the Chairman's level Magnus held on to the cats paw, "Chairman, I know that we haven't been on the absolute best terms recently but I just want to say that I'll miss you."

The cat meowed.

"You don't need to give me the cold shoulder, you know that if I could take you with me I would."

The cat buried his head into Magnus's shoulder.

"See, now I can be happy. We leave on good terms with each other."

The cat licked Magnus's hand.

Magnus began to stand up, "Goodbye my Chairman, I promise that you'll be in capable hands while I'm gone.", gently kissing the top of Chairman's head Magnus left the house, slowly closing the door.

The cat toyed with the sticky note on it's feeding bowl, _Please take care of the Chairman while I'm a away. Cheers! -Magnus Bane_

* * *

Magnus leaned his head against the taxi cab, watching as the buildings zoomed past him; to blurry to adequately read any of them. Magnus closed his eyes, trying to block out all the noises from the outside world [and the annoying taxi driver who would just not stop talking]. Slowly, the world around him turned dark, and Magnus was sent to the world of dreams.

_"We gather here today," said Robert, reaching out his arms expansively, "to honor my son, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, who has single-handedly destroyed the forces of the Endarkened and who defeated in battle the son of Valentine Morgenstern. Alec saved the life of our third son, Max. Along with his parabatai, Jace Herondale, I am proud to say that my son is one of the greatest warriors I have ever known." He turned and smiled at Alec and Magnus. "It takes more than a strong arm to make a great warrior," he went on. "It takes a great mind and a great heart. My son has both. He is strong in courage, and strong in love. Which is why I also wanted to share our other good news with you. As of yesterday, my son became engaged to be married to his partner, Magnus Bane—"_

_A chorus of cheers broke out. Magnus accepted them with a modest wave of his fork. Alec slid down in his chair, his cheeks burning. Jace looked at him meditatively._

_"Congratulations," he said. "I kind of feel like I missed an opportunity."_

_"W-what?" Alec stammered._

_Jace shrugged. "I always knew you had a crush on me, and I kind of had a crush on you, too. I thought you should know."_

_"What?" Alec said again._

_Clary sat up straight. "You know," she said, "do you think there's any chance that you two could ..." She gestured between Jace and Alec. "It would be kind of hot."_

_"No," Magnus said. "I am a very jealous warlock."_

_"We're parabatai," Alec said, regaining his voice. "The Clave would—I mean—it's illegal."_

_"Oh, come on," said Jace. "The Clave would let you do anything you wanted. Look, everyone loves you." He gestured out at the room full of Shadowhunters. They were all cheering as Robert spoke, some of them wiping away tears. A girl at one of the smaller tables held up a sign that said, ALEC LIGHTWOOD, WE LOVE YOU."_

"-Sir, we're about to arrive at the airport, you should wake up."

Magnus groaned, he'd been having a wonderful dream and the taxi driver just had to wake him up, "I'm up."

The taxi driver looked at Magnus through the mirror, "Nice to see you back into consciousness."

Magnus rolled his eyes, "You too."

The taxi driver diverted his attention away from Magnus for a minute and pulled over, "That's gonna be sixty bucks."

Magnus took out his wallet and gave the driver seventy dollars, "Keep the change."

The driver gave Magnus his suitcases, "Thanks!"

"No problem," hollered Magnus, as he walked into the airport, "No problem at all"

* * *

Magnus had just boarded the plane and took his seat, "Ain't nothing like flying first class." Magnus mumbled to himself

A girl spoke, "Not at all."

Magnus turned to the side; eyeing the girl, "We seem to have good tastes, I think we could be great friends. The names Magnus Bane."

The girl shook Magnus's hand, "Hello Magnus, the names Isabelle Lightwood, pleasure to meet you."


	13. Tall Tazo Zen

**Hi! I've just finalized the plot for the rest of this fic. And I'm sad to say that there will only be seven more chapters till this ends. I've been thinking about writing a sequel but I've also just been thinking that writing an epilogue's a pretty got route to. So please review or PM me to help me figure out if I should be figuring out the plot to the next part of this story or if I should just write a very nice epilogue. Thank you again for enduring my month long hiatus, I will try to shorten my leagues of ****absence [or cut them out completely, but come on I'm not that productive]. Anyway, enjoy the chapter! If you'd like to review me or PM me my inbox is always open and I'd love to have a chat with some of you. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Six months. It had been six months since he disgraced his family, six months since he's seen Magnus, and six months since he'd seen his father. Six months since his life had been turned upside down. To be alone. To be himself. To be free. But, the taste of freedom was pitiful. It felt like there was nothing in the world except himself, and that was terrifying.

And that scared Alec more then anything.

* * *

It had been five and a half months of working at the local pediatric till Alec made enough money to find an apartment of his own. Truth be told it was barely bigger then a dorm room, but it was the best Alec could do. Packing up his bag, Alec left Magnus's apartment and onto the streets of Brooklyn.

Alec glanced at his watch, "Crap, if I don't hurry up I'll be late meeting them."

Picking up his pace, Alec made his way into the subway station. Greeted by a gust of warm air, Alec made his way to the platform; waiting for his train to arrive. It seemed as if this train was going to do everything but arrive at the station, and the time spent waiting was killing Alec.

"Excuse me, could you stop tapping your foot? It's quite annoying." asked a stranger

Alec rubbed the back of his neck rather sheepishly, "Sorry, it's a habit."

The stranger rolled their eyes, "Because that makes all the difference."

"I'll try and stop." said Alec

"Thank you," said the stranger, "I'm Ragnor Fell."

"Hello Ragnor Fell, my name's Alec Lightwood."

"Hi Alec." said the man, Ragnor

The train pulled into the station, washing Alec in relief, "Thank the angel it's here." he said while stepping into the train.

"You know, you remind me of someone I meant in this very train station." said Ragnor as he stepped onto the train

"Who?" asked Alec

"This guy, Magnus Bane."

Alec gave a shy smile, "Magnus Bane huh? I know of him."

Ragnor laughed, "It's a small world after all."

* * *

Alec walked into Java Jones, glancing around the cafe looking for his siblings, "They tell me 'come to Java Jones quickly we have something really important to tell you' and they're not even here yet."

Alec makes his way to a table big enough for all of them and sat down. He pulled out his phone to check if he had any messages from his siblings, "Nothing. Not even a little text saying they'd be late."

"I'm sorry we're a little late but we had sleeping beauty with us." said a voice from behind Alec

Alec smiled and got up, "Izzy!"

Izzy hugged Alec, "Yeah, the princess needed some more sleep so we couldn't leave on time."

"Hey, the handsome need the sleep." said Jace

"Then why are you sleeping?" asked Izzy

Alec laughed, "Good point, anyway how was Paris?"

Izzy sat down and swatted her hand across her face in a nonchalant way, "I'll tell you later."

"So, why did you want to talk to me?" said Alec as he sat down

"Mom and dad have been fighting." said Max

"And? They always fight." said Alec

Izzy took Alec's hands, "These fights have been different though, they've been talking about divorce."

Alec gave Izzy's hand a comforting squeeze, "For as long as I can remember they've been talking about divorce."

"They're serious this time, they've met with a divorce lawyer." said Jace

Alec dropped Izzy's hands, "Oh," he ran his hands through his hair, "This's my fault isn't it?"

"Of course not, it's not any of our faults." said Izzy

"I set them up on breaking point, it's my fault hands down."

"No it's not Alec!" yelled Jace, startling the whole cafe

"Yeah Alec, don't blame yourself!" said Max

"It's hard not to." mumbled Alec

Izzy took hold of Alec's hands, "Alec, stop blaming yourself. It's not any of our faults; mom and dad have just fallen out of love."

Alec picked at his sweater, "I suppose your right."

Breaking of Izzy's hold of his hands Alec leaned against the chair and crossed his legs, "So, what have you guys been up to?"

Max smiled,"I just competed in my schools science fair, I won third place! Isn't that cool? Also, Jace took me to see this movie and it was super cool! There was a lot of fighting and blood and mom and dad would have never let me go. And after the movie Jace's girlfriend and her friend Simon took me to Forbidden Planet so we could buy manga. She's so cool Alec! You have to meet her and her friend! And after going to Forbidden Planet, Simon helped me build the statue of liberty out of legos! And the best part is is that we finished building it! Then mom took me out for milkshakes and fries and bought me a new comic book!"

Alec chuckled, "That's awesome Max!"

"I know right," said Max, turning his attention to Izzy, "Izzy, can you buy me a drink?"

Izzy ruffled his hair, "Of course! Come on let's go."

Jace sat down from the chair across Alec and leaned closer, "The situation's getting really bad, they don't even sleep in the same room anymore. They fight nonstop and it's just a complete nuthouse."

Alec looked down at his hands, "Do you think they're really going to divorce?"

"I want to say no but it's just not the truth. They haven't been putting in the effort to trying to work through it. I think Izzy's right, they've fallen out of love."

Alec gave a small laugh, "Izzy's always been smarter then us."

"What about you, do you think they're gonna go through with the divorce?" asked Jace

Alec began picking at his sweater again, "I've seen they're dynamic. I think they'll try to work it through for Max but I don't think it's going to work."

"I suppose your right," said Jace, "But I just don't want it to be true."

"I don't think any of us want to." said Alec

Silence loomed over the two, "We're back!" said Max, with a big gray drink in his hands

Alec and Jace laughed, "What did you get him?" asked Alec

Max looked up from his drink, "An oreo milkshake!"

"I also got Jace a coffee, since he refuses to drink anything that's not the color brown, and I got Alec an earl grey; because he's secretly an elderly man who has an obsession with tea. And for me I got a passion tea lemonade for myself."

Jace smiled, "How much did this cost?"

"Too much." said Izzy

Alec crossed his legs once again, "Now seriously, how are you guys?"

* * *

After leaving the underground the first thing Alec was greeted to was a cold gust of wind. After leaving the train station and out into the cold winter air, Alec started to make his way home. Plugging in his earbuds, Alec started to come at ease as the soft classical music took him away to a place without worries, and a place with Magnus.

_Alec isn't happy," said Magnus, as if she hadn't spoken._

_"Of course he isn't," Isabelle snapped. "Jace—"_

_"Jace," said Magnus, and his hands made fists at his sides. Isabelle stared at him. She had always thought that he didn't mind Jace; liked him, even, once the question of Alec's affections had been settled. Out loud, she said:_

_"I thought you were friends."_

_"It's not that," said Magnus. "There are some people — people the universe seems to have singled out for special destinies. Special favors and special torments. God knows we're all drawn toward what's beautiful and broken; I have been, but some people cannot be fixed. Or if they can be, it's only by love and sacrifice so great it destroys the giver."_

_Isabelle shook her head slowly. "You've lost me. Jace is our brother, but for Alec — he's Jace's parabatai too —"_

_"I know about parabatai," said Magnus, his voice rising in pitch. "I've known parabatai so close they were almost the same person; do you know what happens, when one of them dies, to the one that's left—"_

_"Stop it!" Isabelle clapped her hands over her ears, then lowered them slowly. "How dare you, Magnus Bane," she said._

_"How dare you make this worse than it is —"_

_"Isabelle." Magnus' hands loosened; he looked a little wide-eyed, as if his outburst had startled even him. "I am sorry. I forget, sometimes . . . that with all your self-control and strength, you possess the same vulnerability that Alec does."_

_"There is nothing weak about Alec," said Isabelle._

_"No," said Magnus. "To love as you choose, that takes strength. The thing is, I wanted you here for him. There are things I can't do for him, can't give him . . ." For a moment Magnus looked oddly vulnerable. "You have known Jace as long as he has. You can give him understanding I can't. And he loves you."_

_"Of course he loves me. I'm his sister."_

_"Blood isn't love," said Magnus, and his voice was bitter. "Just ask Clary." _

Ringing blasted through Alec's mind and ears, and Alec begrudgingly was brought back to the real world [much to his annoyance]. Taking his phone out of his pocket Alec answered the call, "Izzy?"

A sniff was the answer, "Max's been hurt."

"What?!" said Alec

"He was in a hit and run."


	14. Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte

**There's only five more chapters left after this. I would be lying to say that it doesn't make me a little sad. I still haven't finalized if I want to do a sequel or epilogue, but I'm leaning towards epilogue. As much as I would love to write a sequel I just don't know what it would be about. But, if you really want me to write a sequel you could PM or review me any ideas as to what I could do with it [or just PM or review if you'd like, I really like reading the comments you guys leave on my story]. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

The floorboards of Magnus's Brooklyn apartment creaked under the newfound weight. A cat jumped off the inky blue couch in the apartment to the source of the newfound weight; Magnus Bane. Bending down to the level of the cat, Magnus scooped it up and walked over to the couch; abandoning his luggage.

Magnus lied down on the couch, cradling Chairman, "I missed you Chairman. It's been unbearable being with out you for six and a half months."

The cat meowed.

"Stop giving me the cold shoulder, I told you that I tried to get you to come with me."

The cat licked its paw.

Alright, alright. I'll feed you your favorite food for a week to make it even for not letting you come with me."

The cat purred.

"How was Alec?"

The cat crawled up Magnus's chest.

"I take that you liked him. That's good, now I have your blessing."

The cat meowed again.

Magnus stroked Chairman's back, "I really did miss you. I even based a design off of you, it did really well."

The cat didn't move.

"You obviously don't appreciate my praise, I'm going to speak with a cat that does appreciate me." said Magnus

Taking his phone out of his pocket Magnus dialed in Catarina's number, "Hey Cat, wanna hang out? I'm back from France so I don't have to pay for international minutes."

"Not now Magnus, Catarina's busy."

Magnus furrowed his eyebrows, "You're not Catarina."

"No, I'm not. But I did get birth to her."

Magnus sat up, "Oh my god Mrs. Loss, how are you?"

"I'm great Magnus! But Catarina's not, actually she's in the hospital." answered Mrs. Loss

"Oh my god, do you want me to come?" asked Magnus

"Could you? That we be lovely." said Mrs. Loss

"Of course, I'll come right now," said Magnus, "what hospital?"

Mrs. Loss sighed, "Mount Sinai, the one in Union Square."

"Alright, I'm gonna leave now. I'll be there as soon as possible." answered Magnus

"Okay, see you later."

"Alright, see you Mrs. Loss."

Hanging up the phone, Magnus sighed, "I gotta go Chairman, I'll see you later.'", Magnus put Chairman on the ground and began to walk to front of the house. Putting on his shoes and shrugging on his jacket, Magnus left.

"Time to see the Kitty Cat again." said Magnus

* * *

Magnus walked up to the front desk of the hospital, "Excuse me, I'm looking for Catarina Loss."

The nurse typed something on the computer, "Yes, she's in room 403."

"Thank you very much." said Magnus

Walking into the elevator, Magnus pushed the fourth floor button and waited, "Jesus, what did Catarina get herself into this time?"

The elevator made a faint 'ding' noise and Magnus stepped out, taking in the surroundings. The walls were a eggshell color, the ceiling the same. Chairs were lined up all along the left side of the hall. The lights were hanging, giving the room a yellow glow. Plaque's were right next to the doors, each going up by one. The atmosphere was tense, just at the end of the hall there was a couple fighting and you could hear the faint sound of a siren. Walking towards the doors Magnus looked around for room 403.

"Magnus, you're here!" called a voice down the hall

Magnus jogged over, "Hi Mrs. Loss, how's Catarina?"

"She's resting." answered Mrs. Loss

Silence loomed over the two of them.

"So, what happened to Catarina?" asked Magnus

Mrs. Loss sighed, "The poor girl has pneumonia."

"Ouch, that's gotta be unpleasant." said Magnus

Mrs. Loss ran her hands through her hair, "Yeah, she was having the hardest time breathing, I felt so bad. We rushed her over here."

"I hope she makes a quick recovery." said Magnus

The doctor came out, "Hi Mrs. Loss," both Magnus and Mrs. Loss got up, "everything's fine, I just came to say that she woke up and is requesting to see you."

"Thank you doctor," said Mrs. Loss, she then gestured to Magnus, "can he come in?"

"Of course, are you Catarina's boyfriend?" asked the doctor

Magnus and Mrs. Loss laughed, "Oh no, I'm a close friend." said Magnus

The doctor smiled, "Of course."

The two thanked the doctor and walked in to Catarina's room. Catarina sat up straighter and winced, "Hi mom, Magnus." she managed to croak out.

Mrs. Loss sat down next to Catarina and ran a hand through her hair, "Don't exert yourself sweetie."

Catarina rolled her eyes, "Mom, I can manage to talk."

Mrs. Loss tugged a piece of Catarina's hair behind her ear, "I know, I just don't want you to get worse."

"I know, and I love you for that," said Catarina, "Mag! How was Paris?"

Magnus bowed, "It was absolutely magnificent, but alas, my return has come."

Catarina spread out her hands, "Well I missed you you big doof, give me a hug."

Magnus hugged Catarina and kissed the top of her head, "I missed you to babe."

Mrs. Loss chuckled, "Sometimes I find it hard to believe you two are platonic."

Catarina wrinkled her face, "Him?"

Magnus shuttered, "Her?"

Mrs. Loss laughed again, "I stand corrected."

Magnus sat down in a nearby chair, "So, besides for the pneumonia, what's up?"

Catarina shrugged, "Nothing really. I did my college classes, re-dyed my hair, and worked at the cafe. An uneventful six months."

Magnus scoffed while taking out his phone, "Nothing happened? I refuse to believe that."

"Now that I think about it there is one thing that was interesting about the last few months."

Magnus looked up from his phone, "And what would that be?"

"Me and Alec had a long talk."

Magnus put his phone down and leaned closer to Catarina, "I'm following."

"It was a like a week ago. We just talked about him and where he was at."

Magnus ran his hand through his hair, "How is he?"

"He's doing better. He's openly gay and he's been making a steady income. He still attends classes, but he's gonna transfer out next year." said Catarina

"Why's he transferring out?" asked Magnus

Catarina sighed, "He wants to be a doctor and he needs a medical degree at a more serious school. It was always part of the deal with his parents. He would go to Cooper Union for a year and then go get his degree at NYU. He only went to Cooper Union to get a taste at college life."

Magnus smiled, "He wants to be a doctor, huh. Now he's driven, smart, and attractive. Oh god Catarina, why must he be the perfect man?"

Catarina shrugged, "I don't know"

Magnus yawned, "I just want to meet him more and more each time he comes up in conversation."

"Yeah, I want you two to meet really badly. It's a matter of time before I cook up the perfect scheme for you two to meet."

Magnus rubbed his eyes, "Any chance the scheme will be cooked up before I die?"

Catarina rolled her eyes, "I assure you I'll make it in time. Also, take a nap, you look exhausted."

"I am, I was on a night flight, and you know how I can't sleep on night flights." said Magnus

Catarina laughed, "I know, now sleep!"

Magnus gave her a quick smile, "Alright."

And with that, Magnus was off to dream world.

* * *

_Magnus had been interested by Clary, the little redheaded scrap who had grown into a—slightly bigger little redheaded scrap, but had not thought he would be terribly interested in the companions she had found for herself. Not the nondescript mundane boy; not golden-eyed Jace Wayland, who reminded Magnus of too much of a past that he would rather forget; and certainly not either of the Lightwood siblings, the dark boy and girl whose parents Magnus had good reason to dislike._

_It made no sense that his eyes had been drawn to Alec, over and over again. Alec had hung to the back of their little group, had made no effort to attract the eye. He had striking coloring, the rare combination of black hair and blue eyes that had always been Magnus's favorite, and Magnus supposed that was why he had looked in Alec's direction at first. Strange to see the coloringthat had so distinguished Will and his sister, so many miles and years gone by, and on someone with an entirely different last name …_

_Then Alec had smiled at one of Magnus's jokes, and the smile had lit a lamp in his solemn face, making his blue eyes brilliant, and briefly taking Magnus's breath away. And when Magnus's attention had been held, he'd seen a flicker of returned interest in Alec's eyes, a mixture of guilt, intrigue, and pleasure at Magnus's attention. Shadowhunters were old-fashioned about such matters, which was to say bigoted and hidebound, as they were about everything. Magnus had been approached by male Shadowhunters before, of course, but always in a hole-and-corner way, always as if they'd been doing Magnus some huge favor and as if Magnus's touch, though desired, might sully them. (Magnus had always turned them down.) It had been a shock to see such feelings open and innocent on a beautiful boy's face._

_When Magnus had winked at Alec and told him to call him, it had been a reckless impulse, little more than a whim. He had certainly not expected the Shadowhunter on his doorstep a __few days later, asking for a date. Nor had he expected the date to go so spectacularly bizarrely, or expected to like Alec quite so much afterward_

Magnus saw a blur of light and heard an annoying noise and knew that he had left dream world [much to his disappointment]. Rubbing his eyes, Magnus quickly stretched out his arms and yawned. Magnus looked around taking in his surroundings. Eggshell walls and ceilings, a light giving off a yellow glow and a heart monitor. Magnus was in a hospital.

Catarina giggled, "It's like seeing a baby come out of the women."

Magnus rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, make fun of me all you want for waking up this-"

A stomach rumbled; his stomach rumbled.

Catarina giggled again, "Go get some food."

Magnus forced himself out of his chair, "Alright mom. I'm off to go buy some overpriced hospital food."

"That's the spirit!" Catarina yelled.

* * *

Magnus was walking out of the cafeteria, food in hand as he started to make his way back to Catarina's room. Waiting for the elevator to come Magnus looked around, watching as the doctors shuffled around and the patients wandering. Stepping into the elevator Magnus turned to face forward. And just as the elevator closed Magnus could have sworn he saw the black haired blue eyed Alec Lightwood hugging his sister Isabelle Lightwood, the girl he met on the plane to Paris.

This really was a small world.

* * *

**Quick little note, I've been obsessed with the words lovely and darling for some reason so if these words get sneaked into the upcoming fics you know why!**


	15. Grande Black

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in four days. But, I've been working on this nonstop. [I mean it has 5,000 words, this is crazy long compared to my other chapters]. I've tried to make this chapter the best I possibly could, and I'm pretty proud of it. I hope you guys like this chapter. Also, I'm still having a hard time choosing epilogue or sequel because I do have some ideas for the epilogue but I have no ideas for this sequel. If someone would like to PM me or review me for some ideas I'd really love that. Oh god, there's only four chapter ****left, I'm gonna bawl my eyes out when this is over. **

**PM or review me because they make my day!**

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

The room was littered in presents, and in the corner were a swarm of balloons. And right in the middle of the room was a little boy, Max. And right next to him was a black haired blue eyed boy, Alec. Alec was holding Max's hand; a hand that was deathly pale to the point were you could see all of the boys veins. Alec was sitting with the boy in silence, crying and just hoping that he would get better. The pain was almost unbearable for Alec; he had to see his baby brother, who had so much potential in him, be stuck in this crippling state. In a state were Alec didn't even know if he was going to become better. In a state of limbo. It hurt to much to see him like this but it just hurt more when he was away from Max.

Alec let out a dry chuckle, "Why did they have to do this to you? You had _so_ much potential for greatness. So much drive in life. I honestly wish that this happened to me instead, that way I didn't have to see you through this. It's not our parents would be that sad, their gay son dying; it would probably save a heck of a lot of aggravation over me. I mean it would be so easy for me to go without anyone missing me, I mean it's not like anyone really cares about me. Maybe you did, but you'd get over it and just become stronger. And Max, buddy, you need to be strong for this, you need to fight through this. I don't know if I could live with myself knowing that if you didn't visit me a week ago then this would have never happened. Oh god, why do I have to be such a messed up person? Max, I want you to stay, everyone wants you to stay. And that's the one thing we all agree about, and you know how hard it is to get the Lightwood's to agree on anything. So please, stay. I'll do anything if you stay. I'll make in effort to start building those cool lego architect set things, I'll read your manga with you, I'll watch movies with you. Please, just stay. I love you Max, please stay."

"Darling, you know he's doing his best." came a voice from behind him, his mother.

Alec got up from his chair and gave Max one last squeeze in his hand before walking over to his mother, "Mom it hurts so much."

Maryse enveloped him in a hug and stroked his hair, "I know darling, I know it hurts. But, you shouldn't blame yourself."

Alec cried out, "How can I not blame myself? It's my fault he's here. If he never agreed to meet up with me then he'd be perfectly healthy."

"Alec honey, it's nobodies fault. It's just bad luck." soothed Maryse

Alec wiped a tear from his eye, "You usually say it's fate and not bad luck."

Maryse sat herself and Alec down, "Fate wouldn't be this cruel to Max."

* * *

Alec was leaning on Maryse when Robert walked in to Max's room. It was almost heartbreaking seeing the two together like that. It reminded Robert of a time when everything was fine; a time were his first son didn't like boys and his youngest son wasn't in the hospital. It was seeing a memory from when Alec was three and had hurt his arm and was leaning on Maryse for support. It was like seeing his old version of happiness from fifteen years ago.

"Will Max be okay?" asked Alec, in a voice so innocent it was hard to remember why he had been kicked out of the house in the first place

"I don't know darling I don't know." said Maryse, her faint european accent still hanging on to her every word

Alec whimpered, "But mom, you promised."

"I know darling, I did promise. But, you know sometimes promises don't work out." answered Maryse

"Will this one work out?" asked Alec

"I certainly hope so." said Maryse

Silence.

"Mom, do you and dad love each other anymore?" asked Alec

Maryse sighed, "Oh honey, I'll always love your father."

Alec looked at his mom, "Then why did you two meet with a divorce lawyer?"

"Where'd you here that?" asked Maryse

"Izzy told me." said Alec

"Of course she did, I should have expected that."

"So are you?" asked Alec

Robert was taken back, this side of Alec was a side he hadn't seen in a while. A side that was so vulnerable that he was afraid that the slightest raise of his voice would make his son break. He hadn't seen this since Alec was seven, and the last time this happened Robert had scolded him for acting that way.

_'Boys shouldn't be so vulnerable. Grow up Alec.'_

Those words had haunted him, he should have never said that to his son. He should never said all those words that he said to Alec six months ago. All those words were chewing at him, tearing him down to the point were he would have nothing left except guilt. And that was exactly how he felt, guilty. If he took Max's offer to bring the kid to work, or if he even said that Max wasn't allowed to go out with Izzy and Jace. He could have done so much to prevent this but instead he didn't. He just protected himself and his selfishness. There was so much that Robert regretted in his life; the way he treated his son, the affair, joining that stupid club with Maryse. He had to make them up, he had to do something. He needed to do something.

Robert took a deep breath and spoke, "Son."

Alec glanced in Robert's direction and his eyes went big, "What do you want dad?"

Robert started to walk over to Maryse and Alec, "I wanted-"

"I wanted to what? Say that looking at your gay son disgusts you? Say that since your no longer a real son that I can't visit Max? What do you want? Do you want to pull my tuition money? What do you want to do with my life this time?"

Maryse reached for Alec's hand, "Alec-"

Alec stood up and shied away from her grasp, "No mom. I'm sick and tired of dad walking all over me beating me up. What, did you not think all those comments really wouldn't have effected me in the long run? Did you really have to say that boys shouldn't be vulnerable? That since I'm gay I'm a defect? That I need to work harder to be more like Izzy or Jace? That I'm a disappointment? I've heard them all before, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you treated me like a piece of shit and I let you. You walked all over me till you were sure I was dead. So don't try to say 'Alec' to me, because you've become a monster that I don't want to have to associate myself with."

Robert walked closer to Alec, "I'm-"

Alec laughed, "Are you trying to say sorry now? Now of all times? You really don't mean this sorry business. You just want to act all big and reassuring because of your son over there. Well guess what, this isn't going to change anything. So quit making up the lies while your ahead."

Maryse got up, "You've been doing this to Alec? You think that disrespecting him like that makes you a good father or husband? What kind of impact did you think would happen if you did this. You ruined our son Robert. You ruined our first born son because you can't control your goddamn emotions enough to even think of others for a minute. Robert, as soon as Max gets better I'm going to go to the divorce lawyer and get full custody of the kids. You don't deserve any of these wonderful children at all."

"You would really take all of the kids into full custody? Have you ever worried about that financially?" asked Robert

"You seem to forget I'm CEO of a multi-million dollar company, I make more then enough money. Also, I plan to keep the house."

"Your gonna keep the house and the kids? What do I get?" Robert yelled

Maryse put her hands on her head,"Nothing, you can go back to your lover and start a life with her. All I care about are my kids and their safety!"

"My kids? There half mine! I deserve something of them!" yelled Robert

"You've been nothing but awful to one of them, so I hardly think that you deserve Alec." said Maryse

"What about the three other kids?!" asked Robert

"You can see them on holidays." responded Maryse

Robert sighed, "Holidays?! I'll barely see them!"

"You barely come home, what's the difference!" said Maryse

Robert snarled, "You can't take my children away."

Maryse walked up to Robert, "Just watch me."

* * *

"Hi, we're here to see Maxwell Lightwood. We heard his room was changed, do you know what room he's in now?" asked Izzy, a little breathless from running

The lady behind the counter typed something in, "Yes, he's in room 405. But, he's only allowed to immediate family."

"I'm his brother as is the blond." said Izzy

Izzy grabbed Jace's hand and dragged to him the elevator and pressed the elevator button, "Max's on the fourth floor in room five. Mom, dad, and Alec are already there."

Jace sighed, "All of them in there? Is that safe?"

Izzy gave a small chuckle, "Let's hope so," stepping inside she pressed the button to the fourth floor, "anyway, I think they'll manage pulling it together since there youngest son may be on the brink between life and death."

"I suppose you're right." said Jace

The elevator opened, and Jace and Izzy stepped out and began to look around for room 405, "I found it!", said Jace, after a bit of walking around.

Izzy ran over to where Jace was standing, "Awesome, shouldn't we go in-"

Jace peered through the window, "I don't think this is the time."

"What do you mean this isn't time?" asked Izzy

Jace pointed to the window, "Look for yourself."

Izzy looked in the window and gasped, there were her parents and Alec fighting. Her mother crying, Alec's face very red and mad, and her dad upset. Izzy sighed and put her forehead on this window, "This is terrible isn't it?"

"It just got worse, listen to them." said Jace

Opening the door a bit, Jace and Izzy peered in to see what was going on, "Oh my god, " whispered Izzy, "This is terrible."

"Tell me about it." mumbled Jace

Alec was yelling at their dad, "No mom. I'm sick and tired of dad walking all over me beating me up. What, did you not think all those comments really wouldn't have effected me in the long run? Did you really have to say that boys shouldn't be vulnerable? That since I'm gay I'm a defect? That I need to work harder to be more like Izzy or Jace? That I'm a disappointment? I've heard them all before, it doesn't matter. What matters is that you treated me like a piece of shit and I let you. You walked all over me till you were sure I was dead. So don't try to say 'Alec' to me, because you've become a monster that I don't want to have to associate myself with."

"This is most enraged I've seen Alec in a long time." said Jace

"I know, it's a little otherworldly seeing him like this," replied Izzy, "Now be quiet, I wanna see how this ends."

"Don't you feel bad for spying on them?" asked Jace

Izzy ran her hands through her hair, "Only a little."

There dad walked closer to Alec, "I'm-"

Alec laughed, "Are you trying to say sorry now? Now of all times? You really don't mean this sorry business. You just want to act all big and reassuring because of your son over there. Well guess what, this isn't going to change anything. So quit making up the lies while your ahead."

There mom got up from her seat, "You've been doing this to Alec? You think that disrespecting him like that makes you a good father or husband? What kind of impact did you think would happen if you did this. You ruined our son Robert. You ruined our first born son because you can't control your goddamn emotions enough to even think of others for a minute. Robert, as soon as Max gets better I'm going to go to the divorce lawyer and get full custody of the kids. You don't deserve any of these wonderful children at all."

"You would really take all of the kids into full custody? Have you ever worried about that financially?" asked dad

"You seem to forget I'm CEO of a multi-million dollar company, I make more then enough money. Also, I plan to keep the house."

"Your gonna keep the house and the kids? What do I get?" yelled dad

There mom put her hands on her head,"Nothing, you can go back to your lover and start a life with her. All I care about are my kids and their safety!"

Jace gasped, "Dad's been cheating on mom?"

"Yeah, has been since before Max was born. Although he did stop for a few years, and then well, they got back together." said Izzy

"Why do you know this." asked Jace

Izzy sighed, "Mom told be a few years ago."

"Why'd she tell you?" asked Jace

Izzy rolled her eyes, "I'll tell you later, now be quiet."

"Alright." said Jace

"My kids? There half mine! I deserve something of them!" yelled dad

"You've been nothing but awful to one of them, so I hardly think that you deserve Alec." said mom

"What about the three other kids?!" asked dad

"You can see them on holidays." said there mom

Dad sighed, "Holidays?! I'll barely see them!"

"You barely come home, what's the difference!"

Dad snarled, "You can't take my children away."

Mom walked up to dad, "Just watch me."

Izzy opened the door and stepped in, "Mom, dad, Alec, what's going on?"

Maryse walked up to them, "Nothing, we were just having a little disagreement."

Robert rolled his eyes, "We were fighting over the custody of you kids when we get divorced."

Izzy sighed, "So it's true, you're going through with the divorce."

Maryse took Jace and Izzy's hand, "We don't want you guys to be upset."

"Upset? This wouldn't have happened if our dad didn't cheat on mom with someone who comes to the holiday parties!"

Robert got up from his chair, "How'd you know that Izzy?"

"How'd I know that? Mom told me. Mom told me that you've been cheating on her with Annamarie Highsmith since I was seven." yelled Izzy

Robert turned to Maryse, "Maryse, why would you tell Izzy that?"

"She had the right to know Robert."

"Fine! You know what? I was about to leave your mother before Max was born, but I stayed. I stayed for you Izzy, you Alec, and for Max. And you know what, looking back at that it was a mistake. It would have saved me from the aggravation I deal with now. I don't want to deal with my gay son and my daughter who can't seem to dress appropriately for her life." shouted Robert

"Get out." said Alec

"What?" growled Robert

"I said get out."

Robert walked up to Alec, "You can't talk to me that way, I'm still your father."

Alec shoved Robert, "You've treated this whole family terribly, you shouldn't be allowed to see any of us. So you should just get out."

Robert pushed Alec in to a chair, "Listen here, I'm stronger then you and I can swat you down like a fly. So before you go acting all big and tough remember that I can ruin you."

"And I can ruin you by filing a lawsuit against domestic violence." said Maryse

"You can't do that!" yelled Robert

"Yes I can, I know the best lawyers in the country, I can sue you for all your worth. I can call them right now, " said Maryse, pulling out her phone, "So, what's it going to be, leave the room or me suing you for all your worth?"

"This isn't over." said Robert as he walked out of the door

Silence loomed over the family, "What are we going to do now?" asked Jace

"What do you mean?" asked Maryse

"We'll have to adapt to a new life. It's gonna be tough." said Jace

Maryse smiled at her kids, "We'll get through it."

"So what of his should we get rid of-" said Izzy, her voice trailing off as she watched Alec walk out of the room, "I'm gonna go check on him."

Maryse nodded at her, "Alright."

Izzy got up and walked out of the room, walking around until she found Alec. When she found him she walked up to Alec and held his hand, "Alec, tell me what's wrong."

Alec turned around and shied away from Izzy's hold, "It-it's nothing."

Izzy hugged Alec, "You're crying. Somethings gotta be wrong."

Alec cried into Izzy's shoulder, "I need to get out of here. I need some air."

Izzy stroked Alec's hair, "Do you wanna go downstairs?"

"Yeah, can we?" asked Alec

"Okay, lets go downstairs." said Izzy

Stepping into the elevator together Alec began to cry, "I-I feel like I ruined our family. That if I wasn't there just now then we all wouldn't have to be there talking about divorce. And that mom and dad wouldn't have fought like that in front of Max. I just feel like I'm the reason that everyone's like this right now. Because, let's be honest, if Jace, you, and Max didn't visit me then Max wouldn't have been walking on that street. And I just keep thinking that if we met on a different day, or different time then we wouldn't be in this hospital. And if I didn't start the fight with dad then _that_ wouldn't have happened. It's all my fault, everything."

Izzy wiped away a tear, "It's my fault. Not yours. I was walking home with Max, and he ran ahead of me. I tried to catch up with him, but he was to far ahead. I was turning the corner when I heard the crash", Izzy let out a horrific sob, "And I-I rushed over, and I saw him just lying there, not moving. And I just started to freak out and I was screaming. The guy drove away and I was just _so_ mad at him. Then I-I called 911 and I picked up Max and put him on the sidewalk. I listened for his heart beat, and _by the angel_ it was so slow. It was barely there. I started screaming again. And when the ambulance came, when I got into the truck, they were saying all of these things that I couldn't understand and I just couldn't deal with it. I didn't want to have to think of what happen to Max, so I fainted. And that was so damn selfish of me. I couldn't even stay awake to help him fight through it. It's all my fault. Don't blame yourself, it was all me."

Izzy hugged Alec, "It hurts so damn much."

"I know."

"But we have to go through it, not for us, but for Max. We have to get through this so he can get through this. We'll say sorry when he wakes up. But for now, we need to work on ourselves no matter how damn selfish this is." said Alec

Izzy calmed down her breaths, "Al-alright."

Alec gave Izzy a hug, "Now let's go down and buy an overpriced snack to eat while we sit with Max."

Izzy reached for Alec's hand and gave it an affectionate squeeze, "Alright."

Stepping out of the elevator they walked into the cafeteria, looking for a snack big enough for them and Jace to eat equally [which is nearly impossible because Jace eats everything]. "What about some salad?" asked Izzy, as she pulled Alec towards the salad bar.

Alec wrinkled his face, "You hate salad."

Izzy flashed Alec a smile, "While on my exchange trip I actually learned to like it."

"Yay! Little sis learned to like something!" said Alec as he gave Izzy a thumbs up

Izzy shoved Alec, "Aw shut up."

Alec grabbed four salad bowls, "So should we get some salads?"

Izzy shrugged, "Why not."

Alec turned towards Izzy as they were at the register, "Your paying, I'm super broke."

Izzy rolled her eyes and handed money to the register, "Of course brother dearest."

"Did I ever mention your a fantastic sister for paying for all of my crap?" said Alec

Izzy grabbed Alec's hand and pulled him out to the hallway, "No, but you really should thank me at least once a week."

"Alrighty then," said Alec, as he pulled Izzy into a hug, "Thank you for paying for all of my crap."

Izzy put her head into the crook of Alec's neck, "Your welcome."

Alec looked forward and swore he saw Magnus Bane looking at him from an elevator.

Magnus Bane was in the hospital.

Alec just saw Magnus Bane.

"By the angel." said Alec breathlessly

Izzy pulled away from the hug, "What?"

"I-I, I just saw-" said Alec his voice trailing off from shouts down the hall, "there's a little boy in room 405, he needs medical attention right now. Go, go, go!"

"By the angel, Max's in trouble we gotta get back, " said Izzy, as she pressed the elevator button multiple times, "why won't this damn thing come down any faster? We'll never make it to see Max."

Alec put a hand on Izzy's shoulders, "Izzy calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down? This is all my fault. If I was there-"

Alec turned to face Izzy, "Izzy, stop blaming yourself. This is not your fault, you did not cause this. This is what Max's body is deciding, not yours. Don't blame yourself. All we're responsible for is to see him and make sure he's okay."

"Alright." said Izzy, between her hiccups

The elevator door opened, "Now let's go see our baby brother."

* * *

Izzy was pacing around, "Do you think he'll be okay?"

Maryse walked up to Izzy and put her hands on Izzy's shoulders, "He'll be fine."

"Okay, I'm trusting you." said Izzy, as she hugged her mother

Maryse stroked her daughters hair, "Everything will be fine."

Silence loomed over all of the Lightwoods, the room deathly silent. It loomed over for what it seemed like an eternity. Alec looked around the room; Jace was in a chair much to small for him, causing his body to mold into an unusual position. Maryse and Izzy were sitting on the sofa; Izzy curled into a ball and Maryse stroking her hair. The room seemed empty without Max's little body against the big bed. The presents seemed meaningless without Max in the room. Everything seemed meaningless without Max in the room.

_This is what it'll be like without Max around, meaningless. _

_This is how the rest of the Lightwoods will act like for the rest of their lives, and it's all your fault. _

_You can blame yourself for the situation happening. _

"Stop psyching yourself out Alec, get a grip." mumbled Alec

The door clicked, and a doctor walked in, "Excuse me, Mrs. Lightwood? May I talk to you?"

Maryse walked up to the doctor, "Of course."

The doctor cleared his throat, "Well, you see when your son was hit by the car he had blunt force trauma to the head, causing internal bleeding."

Maryse nodded, "Yes."

"And well, the case got bad. His organs shut down."

Alec gasped, "No."

Izzy looked at Alec and yelled, "What does that mean?!"

The doctor looked Maryse in the eye, "I'm afraid your son, Max Lightwood, is dead."

Izzy let out a horrific scream, "You were supposed to save him! Keep him alive and healthy! You lied, you liar. How can I trust you, ", Izzy cried into Alec's shirt, "You were supposed to be the hero!"

The doctor looked at Maryse with sympathy, "If there's anything I could do, please tell me."

Maryse wiped away a tear, "Yes, can you bring Max's body back for a minute?"

The doctor nodded, "Of course."

Izzy pointed to the doctor, "Mom, he was supposed to save Max! We were supposed to be one big happy family. But now he's gone,"Izzy drenched Alec's shirt in tears, "what are we going to do?"

Alec reached out to touch Izzy's shoulder, "We're going to be okay."

There was a knock at the door, "Mrs. Lightwood, we have Max's body."

Maryse let out a deep sigh, "Of course, can you please bring him in?"

The doctor opened the door and brought Max in. And there was Max; deathly pale with a smile on his lips.

Maryse walked up to Max and sat down, brushing a hair away from his face in the process, "My beautiful baby boy. We'll miss you. We'll miss you so much it'll hurt. And I'll miss taking you out for milkshakes and buying you those Japanese books you liked so much. Oh darling, I'll miss everything about you; the way you laughed, how excited you got when all of us were home for dinner, you jumping around after you finished building that lego set. I'll even miss changing your nappy. I'll miss you jumping up and down as you showed me your grade. How excited you got when you won a science award. The way that you would jump down the stairs, skipping the last two steps. I'll miss seeing your two dimples and kissing them. I'll miss cuddling with you when you couldn't sleep. I'll miss holding your small little hands. I'll miss cleaning your glasses in the morning. I'll miss driving you to school every morning. Oh Max, our world's going to be so different without you in it. But we'll try as hard as we possibly can to make the world right again. Fate wasn't right to take you away, but it did. And I will try my absolute hardest to make sure that you siblings are safe," Maryse kissed Max's forehead, "Stay safe my brave little body, stay safe."

Robert walked in to the room, "I heard that Max-" Robert gasped, "is he?"

Jace gave a small shake to his head.

Robert walked closer to Max, stumbling along the way, "My son is dead. By the angel, my son is dead, " Robert put his hand against Max's hair and put his head down against the bed, "I'm sorry about what happened to you. I'd do anything to have you back. No matter how much money it cost I would do anything. I love you my boy," Robert kissed Max on the forehead and whispered, "I love you."

Robert got up and gestured for Izzy to sit next to Max. Izzy nodded and sat down on the chair, "I love you, I love you, I love you. I know that, that you do too. But I just want to say it one last time," Izzy gasped for breath, "I'm sorry that this happened to you. It really shouldn't have. If anything it should've happened to me. I don't want to blame myself for this," Izzy wheezed, "I mean I really don't. But, I just can't help but think what happened. I know that you would just smile at me and say that it wasn't my fault_," _Izzy cried out, "_By the angel,_ I won't be able to see your smile again. Max, I'll miss you. I'll miss you so damn much," Izzy cried into Max's hospital gown, "Please don't go, I love you." whispered Izzy, as she whispered it into Max's ear.

Izzy got up and wiped the tears from her eyes, "Alec do you wanna go?"

Alec shook his head, "I-uh, I talked to him already, that's what I want my last memory of Max to be."

Maryse stood up and gave Alec's hand an affectionate squeeze, "I heard the end of it, it was very sweet. I'm with Alec in his decision."

Izzy turned to Jace, "What about you?"

"I-I need a minute." said Jace, before walking out of the room.

Alec sighed and walked towards the door, "I'll go talk to him."

Opening the door, Alec spoke, "Jace, calm down."

Jace walked up to Alec, "Calm down Alec? Calm down? Our-our brother is, is."

"Our brother is dead." said Alec

"I don't want to have to face it now, I can't face it now. I need to calm down. I just can't do it now. I don't wanna see my dead brother yet, I need some time alone."

Alec put his hand on Jace's shoulder, "That's fine, all you need is some time. And that's what we'll give you."

"Your a good brother, did you know that?" said Jace

Alec ruffled Jace's hair, "By Izzy's word yes, I am a good older brother. And now my yours, thanks pipsqueak!"

Jace fixed his hair, "I'm one inch shorter!"

"You're still a pipsqueak." said Alec

Jace rolled his eyes, "Alright, let''s just go back into the room."

Alec and Jace walked into the room, there were their parents and Izzy hugging. Walking over, Alec and Jace joined the hug.

"This is going to be hard, but we'll make it through." said Maryse

They'll make it through.

They'll make it through.

"We'll make it through." whispered Alec

* * *

**Please don't hate me.**


	16. Venti Medium Roast

**Sorry I haven't been able to update in a while. I am an absolutely terrible person. I started school a while ago and I've been trying to just get back into the school vibe of it all. The updates will probably be slower from now on, and I feel bad about that. But, I gotta do the school again [even though it's not quite fun]**. **I feel incredibly guilty knowing that I haven't updated this in forever, but I was sick! I know, it completely sucks getting sick right at the beginning of the school year, but I was on bed rest. I had pneumonia funny enough. Some serious voodoo must be going down with me because I write about Catarina having pneumonia and next thing I know I have pneumonia. Huh, weird. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, even though it really isn't my best work. [Also, I feel terrible that this chapter isn't very good]**

**DISCLAIMER-**

**I do not own the Mortal Instruments**

* * *

Alec Lightwood.

Alec Lightwood.

Alec Lightwood.

Alec Lightwood is in the hospital.

The same hospital Magnus is in.

It was exhilarating; being in the same space together. Everything became brighter, clearer. The world lit up. His heart was pumping, his mouth panting, his eyes glossy. Alec made everything better when he was around. The boy was perfect, everything about him was just radiant. Magnus was a deer in the headlights, nothing was clear; everything was just a blur.

"Catarina is going to flip when she hears about this. Oh my god will she flip." mumbled Magnus, his eyes darting around like a madman.

The elevator door opened and Magnus skidded out of it; looking for Catarina's room. The floor was buzzing with noise, doctors shouting out much to complicated things for Magnus to understand, "Doctor, you better hurry, Max Lightwood's organs are beginning to fail." came a distant holler

The doctor ran in front of Magnus, "Of course, I'm coming as quickly as possible."

Max Lightwood. Alec's last name is Lightwood. He's here because his brother is dying. And Magnus is selfish enough to think that he could swoop Alec of his feet. He actually had the audacity to think that Alec would drop everything to fall in love with Magnus, how stupid was he?

Magnus hit his head, "I can't believe how stupid I am."

Walking down the halls to Catarina's room was painstaking. He'd walk down the halls that just a few minutes ago had his hopes and dreams with Alec. And he crushed it. The hallway was just a reminder of how he screwed everything up. How he had been too egotistical and shallow. The hallway were his mistakes; and Magnus hated mistakes.

Magnus knocked on Catarina's door, "Can I come in?"

Catarina's mom opened the front door and brushed a tear from her eyes away, "Of course Magnus, you may come in."

"What's-," Magnus ran to Catarina's bedside, "Oh my god! What happened?"

Catarina let out a sob, "It's Max."

Magnus took Catarina's hand and held it, "Max who? Why are you crying over Max?"

Catarina leaned over and hugged him, "Max, Max Lightwood. The Lightwood's youngest son. He-he-he's dead."

Magnus held Catarina closer, registering in his shock, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry Cat."

"I-I feel so bad for the Lightwood's. I've known Max since he was born, by the angel, I held him! I babysitted him! And that sweet little innocent boy is dead." said Catarina, as she wiped the tears from her face

Magnus grabbed a nearby tissue box and handed it to her, "I know it's tough, but you can get through this. Your strong kitty Cat, and if there is one thing that I know you can handle is getting over this. So, kitty Cat, just for me, will you fight through this?"

Catarina hiccuped and grabbed a tissue, "Yeah, I'll get through this. Thanks for helping me through this Mag."

Magnus gave her a grin, "It's just what I do best."

Catarina giggled and rested on Magnus, "You know, Alec is just one room over."

"Not now kitty Cat, now I just wanna spend time with you." said Magnus, as he ran his hand up and down her arm

"Okay."

A small chuckle came from the corner of the room, "Platonic my ass."

Magnus and Catarina scrunched up their faces in disgust.

Mrs. Loss rolled her eyes, "Something's never change."

* * *

"You sure you're alright to go back home alone?" asked Magnus as he and Catarina left the hospital

Catarina rolled her eyes, "I'm completely capable, now stop babying me and get home. You must miss that bed of yours terribly. Oh, and don't get me started on that cat too."

"The cat's name is Chairman Meow, okay. And yes, I do miss my bed dearly."

"Then go back to it!" yelled Catarina as she laughed

Magnus saluted her, "Aye aye captain!"

Magnus began to walk away from Catarina, still hearing her laughing in the distance. As terrible as it was, Magnus was glad that Catarina had pneumonia. He would have never been able to see Alec. Or, bring him back down to earth. Going to the hospital was an experience- a very designer clothes wrinkly experience-and it was an experience he'd never forget. True, it wasn't the most glamorous thing he had ever done, but it certainly opened his eyes to the real world. And now that he was back, he was determined to find Alec.

Reaching for his phone Magnus dialed in a number, "It's time to find him once and for all."

* * *

_A pretty girl with butterfly clips in her dreadlocks put her hand on his arm. "You were amazing," she told him, her voice fluting. "You have the reflexes of a striking snake. You should be a stuntman. Really, with your cheekbones, you should be an actor. A lot of people are looking for someone as pretty as you who'd do his own stunts."_

_Alec threw Magnus a terrified and beseeching look. Magnus took pity on him, putting a hand on the small of Alec's back and leaning against him. His attitude and the glance he shot at the girl clearly communicated my date._

_"No offence," said the girl, rapidly removing her hand so she could dig in her bag. "Let me give you my card. I work in a talent agency. You could be a star."_

_"He's foreign," Magnus told the girl. "He doesn't have a social security number. You can't hire him."_

_The girl regarded Alec's bowed head wistfully. "That's a shame. He could be huge. Those eyes!"_

_"I realize he's a knockout," Magnus said. "But I am afraid I have to whisk him away. He is wanted by Interpol."_

_Alec shot him a strange look. "Interpol?"_

_Magnus shrugged._

_"Knockout?" Alec said_

_Magnus raised an eyebrow at him. "You had to know I thought so. Why else would I agree to go on a date with you?" _

Magnus woke up, his hands moving around the bed, hoping for an Alec Lightwood shaped lump. No such luck.

Magnus ran his hands through his hair, "Oh god, I really have to find him."

Looking around his room, Magnus saw the time. 12:52, his classes started in thirty minutes. "Crap, I gotta go. Professor will kill me if I'm late.". Pushing his duvet covers to the side, Magnus began to get dressed. Shrugging on his pants and shirt, Magnus made his way to his kitchen, grabbing a quick snack to eat before he left. Picking up his bag for class, Magnus walked out of the door and into the streets of Brooklyn.

"God I forgot how awful college life is."

* * *

Taking the subway seemed like a foreign concept at this point. Magnus had spent months being driven around everywhere, and now going underground to get places seemed a bit odd. It wasn't first nature anymore; being spoiled didn't pay off in the long run.

"I'm gonna have to get used to this life style again," mumbled Magnus as he picked at his nails, "yippee"

Waiting for his stop to arrive was aggravating. The heat was awful, every part of Magnus's face was sweating and he felt disgusting. Each minute he sat there it got worse and worse. Each moment Magnus just got worse and worse. It was utterly dreadful. The train felt like it got slower and slower as time progressed. And Magnus loafed every minute of it. Disgust is the only thing Magnus could think of; disgust in himself, disgust in the heat. Everything was utter chaos.

Then the train pulled in.

And Magnus was so happy at that moment, happy that he could finally get out of that hell hole and on to the nicely paved streets of Astor Place and into the new buildings in Cooper Union. It seemed odd for him to say, but he really missed school. He missed being into the routine of school and going there almost every week day, and the divine creature named Alec Lightwood certainly helped it out. Alec Lightwood. The angel sent from the heavens. He was unearthly, his beauty was so breathtaking that he seemed like he was from another world. He deserved more then life, deserved better then his terrible parents. Magnus just wanted to hug and protect him. Alec didn't deserve any negativity; as childish as it was, Magnus wanted to protect him with his life, even if he didn't know him physically.

Alec was perfect; and Magnus just wanted to let him know how perfect he was.

* * *

Magnus walked down the halls of school; inching closer to the calculus room. It was like the door was drawing him closer; and Magnus actually wanted to go in. Opening the door to the classroom Magnus turned around and saw a flash of black.

Alec Lightwood.


	17. Tall Teavana Royal English Breakfast

**I'm such a terrible person. I'm so sorry. I'm not even kidding, I feel so bad about what I didn't do [write the ****chapter]. I've been busy with prepping for this big test, and schools been really intense lately. I've been wanting to update this so badly and I kept trying to make time and do something and this is what happened. I feel terrible, I'm trying to update faster, I'm getting a break soon so I'll update next week, I promise. I'm really sorry again. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments **

**If you want to communicate with me, review or private message message. I smile like a dork when I get reviews. **

* * *

Black. That's all Alec could remember for months on end. Black clothes, black hair, black future. It was just a huge storm that would never go away. No matter how hard he tried, no matter what he did, he could never escape it. When he closed his eyes to sleep, a sea of black just arose. The strands of a little boys nine year old hair would come into the picture, and his gray eyes would come next. The only remains of Max. No matter what he did, he couldn't get his little brother out of his mind. All that did was cause big fat tears on his ugly face. Alec couldn't do anything right; not even mourn his brother. His baby brother; a person that really didn't deserve to die. Why he died was a mystery, what sick person would kill an innocent like Max. He had so much to look forward to in life; and fate cut it short.

Fate really was a cruel thing.

It twisted the knife in his back and just didn't care.

Alec could have saved him. He could have met them on a different day, or a different time. He could have video chatted them, if he did, everything would've been okay.

But it's not.

Instead of saving his brother, Alec's sat in his childhood room waiting for his funeral. It's been two months, and no ones over it. No one's even been in his room, it's like it was to sacred. That if you touched it you'd ruin it. Instead, it just sits there, building up in dust; waiting for a boy who will never come home.

Izzy took it the hardest. She blamed herself no matter how much everyone says it wasn't her fault. She was suffocating; the grief tying her down so far that she could hardly stand. She stopped caring about her looks, she barely cared about school. No one blamed her. She just sat in her room, rotting away, regretting the decisions she made on that night. Izzy would cry herself to sleep, barely eat. She was being devoured by her inner demons.

Maryse thought she had failed as a mother. She tried to split every ounce of free time up between her kids equally. One week she'd take Alec out, the next she'd take Izzy, the following Jace, then her baby boy Max. She'd buy him those comic books he liked and take him out for milkshakes. Sometimes they went to the carnival as a family. Maryse couldn't remember the last time she'd done that. It was to long ago and to painful to remember. She didn't want to have to think of her baby boy smiling, and realize she'd never see it again. When Alec came out, she was so proud of him. But she was also terrified. And when Robert kicked him out, she knew that she had failed Alec. No matter how many attempts made to fix things, she knew that nothing would work and that she had failed. Then, Izzy had her break down. It was almost instantaneous to Max's death. She began to sob horribly, and she blamed herself. Maryse tried everything to make Izzy believe that it wasn't her fault. She talked to Izzy all the time, gave her everything she loved. But nothing worked. Izzy was still a mess, and that's when Maryse knew that she failed as a mother to her daughter. Jace was the last one. His was so subtle at the beginning, but then everything fell down. At first, it was like little micro-fractures on a mirror, unnoticeable but still occurring. Jace became a little less cocky and was more honest about his emotions. But then, he started bringing home worse grades and getting into fights. Jace was acting out. And when Jace was suspended from school for two weeks, that's when Maryse knew she failed as a mother to Jace. She had failed her children, there was nothing more gut wrenching then knowing that.

Jace acted out. He tried to subdue his emotions in the beginning, but it didn't work. He lashed out, he got into fights. He couldn't control himself; Jace wasn't in control, he was a completely different person. His brother was dead; his youngest brother was dead. He'd never be able to see him again. His emotions were all over the place, the only thing that Jace felt okay with having was power. And power was something Jace abused, all he really wanted was his baby brother.

Robert didn't communicate much with the family. He moved out of the house and into a new apartment. He isolated himself, he just did his work and went home to mourn. He couldn't bring himself to open up to the world; to open up to his family. He barely wanted to see the world. It was cruel and unforgiving; it ruined him and his family.

Nothing was okay.

* * *

Funeral. The ceremonies honoring a dead person, typically involving burial or cremation. Mourning the dead. Swarms of black, a coffin, and tears. One of Alec's earliest memories was him attending a funeral. Death was all around him, everyone told his family they were lucky for no one dying; now it just seemed like a cruel fate. Karma. Nothing was okay, whatever it was; fate or bad luck, neither mattered. All Alec knew was that his brother was dead, there was no changing that fate. Once a heart stops it stops.

"I can't believe this is happening." said Izzy, looking at the window of the black car

Maryse rubbed her shoulder, "I don't want to believe this either, but he's dead. We have to honor him."

"I know, I know we do, " said Izzy, as she played with the hem of her dress, "But, I don't know why we had to come here with dad."

"I know that you don't want to be near your father, but he still is Max's father and yours. He has a right to be able to ride the car with us to the funeral," said Maryse, "I want you kids to just get along with your father today. This is the one day you have to."

The siblings let out a huff, "Alright." said Izzy

Maryse gave a small smile, "It's almost like old times." she whispered

* * *

The car pulled up to Robert's apartment, just as Robert stepped out of the door. Walking down the stairs, Robert made his way to the car. Stepping in, and sitting down next to Alec, Robert gave the family a nod.

"Hello, _Robert_, how's your mistress?" asked Izzy

"Maryse gave Izzy a stern look, "Izzy, language."

"Why? He has no right to be here! He was cheating on you before and after Max was born! He was barely there for Max's upbringing!" yelled Izzy

"Izzy, stop. This is not the time." said Alec, speaking for the first time since entering the car

"Listen to your brother Izzy." said Maryse, giving Alec a thankful look

Silence loomed over the family, each glancing at each other. As if if they did so then the tension would be gone, "I'm sorry," said Robert

Robert ran his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry for how I treated all of you at the hospital. I should have never have said any of that. I was just angry and upset."

"That's no apology. You're an adult, you should be able to control your emotions. That's a bullshit answer that teenagers give to teachers and parents. You shouldn't be saying that, a grown man, to your own teenagers. Just quit while your ahead and man up and say your sorry. You should just stop hiding behind excuses. You're much to old for that." said Alec

Robert looked at his son, amazed to see how mature he had become, "I'm sorry, will you forgive me?"

Izzy scoffed, "You think that's enough for everything you've done? I'll never forgive you, you're a monster for what you did. I want you to remember that."

"I know I am."

"Good." said Izzy

"Izzy, enough." said Alec, slightly raising his voice

Izzy leaned over to Alec and looked him in the eyes, "Why Alec? Why? Why are you defending him? He kicked you out of the house when you came out. He basically disowned you. You were thrown out onto the streets with nothing; no family, no love from him. And yet your helping him? You should be on me and Jace's side, so stop telling me to stop when you really should."

"Because of Max! All of you, your turning a day to honor Max into your own pity party. That's cruel and sick. He deserves this day, he deserved all of his days. But you all had to put your own goddamn feelings before his! How do you think that made him feel? That's why he looked forward to the days he got alone with each of us. He was sick of all of your selfishness, and frankly, so am I. He's dead. And all of you are just tampering his memory. So stop being a bunch of babies and pull your shit together for one day, then you can go back to your own guilt." yelled Alec

The rest of the car ride was silent.

* * *

Maryse walked up to the stand, Jace and Alec supporting her every step of the way,"Max, my love. He was my youngest son. He cherished the time we spent together as a family; he told us that every time. He had the laugh of angel, he had the smile of one too. He was this perfect young man, someone I couldn't wait to watch as he grew up. I wanted to see him grow, emotionally and physically. I wanted to see him bring home is first partner and be so utterly embarrassed. I'll always want to see what my little boy grows up to be. He was perfect; he was so selfless. Max was something else," Maryse wiped away a few tears, "and I don't think that I can truly accept that he's gone. But, I, I need to just say that he was the best little boy I knew. Everything from the gaps in his teeth to his hair was perfect." Maryse gasped, her breaths coming out shaky each time, "he was so open-unlike my other kids-he'd talk to me about anything. No matter how embarrassing or how personal he'd always talk. He'd give this whole speech about how his day went and why it was the best day ever. He'd kiss everyone before he went to bed. He was one of the best things I had ever done. I'm not proud of all my other accomplishments, because all that truly mattered was my kids. I know his death was highly publicized, which I really didn't want. But, I, uh, I guess that's what you get for being a CEO of a hugely successful company. I just want Max to know that we all loved you, and we all miss you. It wasn't your time to go, but if it was up to me you'd never go. I love you Maxwell, remember that."

Maryse left the stand, touching Max's coffin and kissed it.

"Max was my youngest son," said Robert, his voice deep and hoarse, "He put the glue back together in the family. It was tearing at the seems and when Max came into the picture, everything changed. He was the true light of our family." Robert wiped his nose, "I didn't show my affection towards him a lot, I mean, emotionally I did, but not physically. But, Max knew that I loved him. Me and Maryse, we used to take him out for some one on one time since we have so many kids. We wanted them to feel like they were all equal, that we all loved them the same. I loved spending time with Max. He loved us so much and he loved to talk. We dropped the one on one with the three older kids two years ago-they didn't seem to be enjoying it anymore-but we continued with Max. He loved feeling that special, and the kid reminded us each time. It was really cute. But, it was hard to bond with Max for the last few weeks of his, of his uh-of his life. The family was in a difficult place and none of us were getting along," Robert ran his hands through his hair, "I wish we had more time. He didn't deserve to die this early. He was a bright young boy with so much potential. Potential that will never be used. I think I speak for the whole family, we wish he was hear, but if it was fate, it was fate. I love you Max, I really do."

"I was born seven years before Max. My family was having a rough patch; and each child started looking less and less like our parents. But, when little Max came everyone was different. It was like everyone had finally gotten their shit together and decided to be great people. He changed all of our lives.",Izzy wiped her eyes, "And, he was like an angel. No, he _was_ an angel. Nothing could damper his mood, he'd always be happy. We just all loved Max. He was-he was something else, you know? I, I don't know what to do now. I blame myself for his death. I mean, I could've saved him. I could've, I could've ran towards him, called the ambulance sooner. I could've done something. But, we all could've. We all can shoulder the blame for it, we all did something. And, it's okay. It's okay that this guilt is here, because I know I loved him. I know I cared about him, and isn't that what remembering is? It is, and I didn't think I could say it this fast, but I think I'm okay. I think I'm going to be alright, and that feels amazing to say. I don't want to make this all about me, but we all need time to grieve, we all need time to heal. And it's okay to heal, Max would say that. I loved my baby brother, I loved him with all of my might. I loved him more than all of my terrible boyfriends I've ever had. By the angel, I don't know what else to say. I just have so much to say about Max but I can't get anything out.", Izzy let out a shaky breath, "I-I, I don't know what to do without h-h-him. I'll miss him so much." Izzy wiped the tears coming down, "I can't do this, I'm sorry. I love you Max, I really really do love you. I don't want you to forget that. I'm sorry." Izzy touched his coffin and ran off.

Jace walked up, his shoes making a clacking sound-resonating throughout the room-and cleared his throat, "I was adopted, if that wasn't obvious enough. I have blonde hair, the rest of them have black hair. I wasn't part of any family, but they made me feel as if I was family. And, when Max came into the picture, I was really nervous. There was someone else being added to the family, I didn't know how to react. The dynamic would be changed. A baby would be the center of everything. I was nervous how there'd treat me now, I thought I'd be thrown out on the street. It was awful, I was struggling with all of these emotions. But, then I saw him. I held him in my arms after he was born, he communicated to me in a way. Like he was saying everything would be fine, and it was. Nothing change, except for the fact we all had to do diaper changes. Max was the best thing, I swear to the angel that he was a messiah. He was way to saintly not to be, no he was one hundred percent a messiah, or at least an angel. Yeah, he was defiantly one of those two. No doubt.", Jace chuckled, " I'm so thankful for being able to know Max, he was truly a pleasure. I loved him, I don't even know how much-but just a lot. I wish he was still here, I wish that I could hug him and tell him much I cared for him. I love Max, and I'm sorry for all the things I did."

The room went silent, all eyes were on Alec. He was excepted to make a speech about Max, about how much he cared and loved him. Alec ran his hands through his hair-a habit he picked up from his parents-and made his way up to the coffin. The walk was like walking on steaming coals, painful. Each step felt more constricting, that the closer he came to his brothers coffin the more the pain felt real. That this was real, not a figment of his imagination. That Alec had to accept that his baby brother was dead. That he couldn't pretend, that he'd have to come to the real world. And here he was, at this brothers funeral. Alec made his way the podium and brought it close to his mouth,"As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings a happy death. Leonardo da Vinci said that. And it couldn't be truer. Max had the best life, all though many couldn't see that. Max lived a life many wish to live but never succeed in getting. He was loved and cared for-everyone loved him. He traveled all over the world. He had a family. He had so much, and that doesn't even cover the fact that he was to inherit a great fortune," some people chuckled, and Alec smiled,"Max had a life worth remembering, it was grand, it was beautiful. But, he'll never be able to fully live it. But, it wasn't up to us, it was up to him. And frankly, I don't blame him. Our family was going through a rough patch, the family was breaking at the seams. Max had never witnessed it, he was either to young or we concealed it too well. We didn't want him to face the cruel fact that we weren't picture perfect. It meant so much to us that he held us in a way were he was proud of us. And trust me, there was a lot shame to have. From scandals, to being gay, we had it all," Alec cracked a little smile, "and Max was someone who had a heart of gold. He didn't know that there was bad in this world, he didn't want to know that there was bad in this world. We wanted him to live in a picture perfect world. And we had managed to do it weirdly enough. And, sure he's died. But, he'll remain with us forever and I know he'll watch over all of us. I know he's in a better place, and I'm grateful for that. Max deserves the best. I love you baby brother, I hope you enjoy it up there."

Alec didn't believe in any of the words he said, it was an utter lie. Nothing would be alright, nothing was fine. His brother was gone, the world lost an angel. It wasn't okay.

All Alec saw was black.

* * *

**I'm sorry again.**


	18. Grande Breve

**Hi! Sorry for uploading two days late [unless you live somewhere ****ahead of my time zone, then I'm sorry for making it three days!], I started reading _To Kill A Mockingbird_, and oh my god has it taken up so much time. But, I did it! Sorry it's kind of short, it's more of a filler chapter so I can't really add much to it. But, I promise that these next three chapters are going to be long and plot filled. Oh my god, I only have three more chapters of this left. That's sad, I really enjoyed writing this chapter but I'll write some long sappy authors note on the last chapter. But I will say one thing, this chapter is a bit of a trigger and your health is way more important then a fanfiction and if you feel if you'd be triggered by alcohol, [slight] depression, and body dysmorphia _please_ don't read this chapter. I'll write a summary of what happens at the bottom. Like I said before, your health is more important then a fanfiction-if this may be potentially dangerous for you please don't read the chapter. **

**Disclaimer- I do not own the Mortal Instruments **

* * *

The funeral. The thing that stripped Magnus from being a good man. The thing that made him want to feel selfless, but made him feel selfish. All he could think about was Alec, not that poor boy-just Alec. He wanted to hug, kiss, cherish Alec-he wanted to give him everything he had. He wanted to love Alec and show him just how important he was. But he couldn't think about the little brother. He couldn't think about how much Alec missed him, or how depressed Alec was, because of the little boy. Magnus wanted to be a good man, but he couldn't muster up any sense of dignity. He couldn't think of anyone else besides himself, and he hated that. Never before had Magnus ever hated how he saw the world-in fact, Magnus rather loved how confident he was and that he was just a tad egotistical. Magnus adored every aspect of his life, and now it's just awful, everything. Magnus couldn't see the bright side of anything. The world was gray, nothing compared to the spectrum of radiant colors he had seen before.

Magnus took a swig from a flask, "What is this boy doing to me?"

"Oh babe, I've never seen someone in so much pain for liking a boy." said Catarina, stroking Magnus' hair, "You really should stop with the alcohol. You're too pretty to shrivel away to an ugly prune."

Magnus glared at the girl, "Stop controlling my choices in liquids, I'm just fine. Also, stop making up fake things about drinking!"

"Well, it's your fault for becoming best friends with a med student isn't it?" asked Catarina

"I'm starting to regret saying hi to you at orientation." said Magnus, taking another swig from the flask

Catarina took the flask from Magnus, "That's what they all say, but seriously, lay low on the drinks or you'll never get to see pretty boy."

Magnus rolled over-his face now looking directly at the soft fabric of the couch, "I hate when you're right."

"So do all the people I sleep with."

* * *

Magnus woke to a splitting headache-and the sudden need to say hi to his on/off friend the toilet while he got rid of the contents of his stomach-and the utmost desire for a beautiful little Advil pill. Magnus had made this decision many times before-hangovers were a terrible look on him. But yet, he couldn't stop himself from gorging the beautiful amber liquid [that quite frankly he had to large of a stock of] to drown the sorrows of his life. He had called it a memory swipe, something he desperately needed whenever personal tragedy happened [which Magnus had decided, was way too often]. It didn't help that he was 22, a very legal drinking age.

Walking down the staircase to the kitchen Magnus heard the clanging of pots and pans, "Catarina I swear to god if you're doing this on purpose I will legitimately kill you."

Laughter was heard from the end of the hall, "Not on purpose, but this is amusing for both of us."

"Cat, you're the worst person in the world." said Magnus, putting his head in the crook of his arms

Catarina ruffled Magnus' hair, "Babe, this is karma. What a lovely formal introduction to one another."

"Karma can screw itself and leave me alone." mumbled Magnus

"Aw, but karma can help you find Alec." said Catarina

Silence loomed over the two.

Magnus cleared his throat, "Yeah, about that, I'm thinking of ending the search for good."

Catarina dropped everything from her hands, "What? Mag, all you've wanted to do for months is meet him, why the change of heart now?"

"I can't do this any more. I just can't spend my life searching for some boy. I'm a goddamn adult, I'm 22 and I have a career, I can't be focusing on someone I might never meet. I need to grow up, I need to mature-I need to feel like I'm doing something right, and this is not it." said Magnus

Catarina sighed, "I get it, you want to grow up. We all need to do this one day, but today is not the day," she grabbed Magnus' hands and held them,"you have time to be carefree. To live your live, you have plenty of time to do all of this. Magnus, you don't need to grow up, ease yourself into it."

Magnus took his hands from Catarina, "No Cat, you don't understand! I'm done doing this, this lifestyle. I don't want to always wake up hungover, saying goodbye to a one night stand, cleaning up some party! Cat, I _want _to get my shit together, it's better if I do. I need to do this, I need to stop chasing someone and focus on the real world. I have to stop being so selfish! I keep thinking only about Alec and not the dead boy in the grave."

"You know what Magnus, this is the part you don't understand. Right now, the Lightwood's are a mess. The whole family isn't copping with the loss well. Alec's depressed Magnus, he's depressed. He can't get his head screwed straight to realize that everything will be alright. All he wants to do is sit at home in silence, he doesn't even want to go to school anymore. He hasn't been to school in a month! A whole month Magnus. His whole world has been burned down to the ground, and he needs someone to rebuild it all. He needs hope in his life, and no one in his family can do that! For god sake, the boy needs someone, he needs you. He needs support-he needs to be cherished and loved, he needs to feel important again. So before you mope about you're own life think about what your decisions might lead to, I know that I would for a goddamn fact." said Catarina, grabbing her things

"Where are you going?" said Magnus, in disbelief about what just happened

Catarina rolled her eyes, "Finding someone who's thinking about other people. Enjoy your fucking breakfast."

Magnus pushed his hair back, "What have I got myself into?"

* * *

Magnus took a look at himself in the mirror, and was disgusted. A deadbeat, an underachiever. That's all he could see, a mistake. There was nothing desirable about him. Dark circles under his eyes, stubble on his chin, dark skin, too much effort done to a body that could never be beautiful. He was as good as dead, nothing could feel the same as long as he saw this ugly reflection. There was so much-too much-that needed to be fixed. Magnus felt prickles around his eyes, no he wouldn't cry, he couldn't cry.

"Stop being such a baby, people are going through so much more then you, man up." whispered Magnus, sitting down on his bed, "Pull yourself together."

The body started to morph into a different shape, an uglier shape. The stomach protruded, the eyes turned dark, the stubbles grew. It grew taller, the feet became bigger, the nose became longer. His teeth made bug gaps, his hands destroyed.

_You're ugly._

_You don't deserve love._

_You'll never amount to anything._

_Your just some demon child! Get out._

_Magnus Bane, the bane of my existence._

_You can't do anything, might as well give up already. _

_You shouldn't exist, you're just a mistake. _

_I regret ever looking at you. _

_I hope you die. _

The room started spinning, nothing could be seen anymore. Gasps became shorter, his heart began to beat faster, his legs felt like quicksand. Magnus was ready to give in-there was no point in doing anything otherwise, he should do what everyone wanted him to do-he was ready for the darkness to creep in, to let himself go and give somebody else control. His breaths became steady, his heart began to slow down, his legs felt like they could support him. Magnus was calm, nothing could bother him anymore-he knew what to do. Everything was pristine, crystal clear-the fate of himself decided. In one quick motion, Magnus lifted his leg up and kicked the mirror-the shards flying everywhere. Each insecurity, flying away with each broken glass. All of the dark and muddled thoughts were gone-making space for the beautiful spectrum of thoughts. Everything inadequate in his mind; gone-Magnus was free from the chains. He was ready to live his life the way he wanted to-a life with no regrets.

With each piece of broken glass, an old, scared part of Magnus' life was gone; making room for a new, beautiful memory-room for the boy with the blue eyes, Alec Lightwood.

* * *

**Summary-**

**Magnus feels bad for only thinking about Alec and not about Max. He drinks away his sorrows and thinks about ending his search for Alec-which causes a fight between Catarina and himself. Magnus feels insecure and has some body/emotional issues but ends up overcoming it [via kicking a mirror, which causes him to have some metaphorical realization that with each broken piece of glass each broken piece of his life gone opening opportunities for a new one]. **


	19. Venti Peppermint Mocha

Alec can swim.

* * *

"Alec, darling, would you like dinner?"

The voice was muffled-it was far off from where he was-and the sentence barely clicked in his mind. The words deteriorated as soon as they appeared in his was pointless fuzz, some minor distraction that Alec didn't need. Nothing that was important, he would ignore it. It's not like it mattered in the slightest, Alec didn't need dinner-it only was a matter of time until it was his time to go.

"Okay, maybe not tonight. Just remember if you're hungry that you can always come down to eat something."

Alec lied down on his bed-bouncing slightly as he met the cover. He breathed in, and breathed out. It was odd, he felt calm despite all of the pain and misery it was like he was at a moment of serenity. The world made perfect sense, moving at a flawless pace. The movement of his blood, the pumping of his chest-nothing was wrong with him, he was fine. He was too fine, he didn't _want_ to be fine. It wasn't _okay_ to be fine, he was being selfish. He had this perfectly healthy body, and his brother didn't. And he deserved to live more than Alec did, Max had his whole life ahead of him; so much hope, so much optimism in his life. And Alec was going nowhere, but he needed to stop this feeling.

Running to the door, Alec swung it open, "Wait mom, can I talk to you about something."

Maryse turned to look at Alec, "What do you want to talk to me about darling?"

"Something important."

* * *

"Mom, I think I need to get some professional help." said Alec, fidgeting with his hands

"Oh, darling. Are you sure? I know you're a private person and I don't want you to feel as if someone is interrupting your personal space."

Alec let out a long sigh, "Mom, I've been feeling this way since before Max's death, I've been feeling worthless since middle school. I don't like this feeling anymore, it's like being in a skin thats itchy, you want it to stop."

Maryse took Alec's hand, "If this is what you wish, of course we'll get some help. We'll get the absolute best to make sure you recover."

Alec leaned over and hugged Maryse, "Thank you mom," Alec kissed her cheek, "This means so much to me."

"I'm just glad I could help out my baby, you deserve the best in life and I'll make sure of it."

Alec smiled for what seemed like the first time in years, "Mom, I can't thank you enough."

"There's no need to. I'm just protecting my baby," said Maryse, "I'll get you an appointment as soon as I can."

* * *

Laughter, laughter could be heard, bright and cheerful. It was something that hadn't been heard in a while, Alec couldn't recall the last time he laughed like that. He couldn't remember the last time he'd heard his family laugh like that. It was much before Max's death, that's all Alec knew. Slowly walking down the hall of the kitchen, Alec listened to the conversations of his family.

A low, masculine voice spoke, "I think things are getting better for us."

A scoff, "Yeah, but you could say that about getting the cheating bastard out of our house-not about getting over Max's death."

"Isabelle, quiet down. All of us know that the pain over Max is almost gone. We're getting better," said Maryse, taking hold of Jace and Izzy's hands, "Izzy, you've gone back to your usual self-shopping, spending time with boys, I mean not that I mind, I'm happy you seem to be adjusting well. And Jace, you're back to your usual self-joking around, playing sports, just being yourself. I know things have been bleak for all of us these last few months but we've gotten through it well. Alec's even going to therapy!"

The room went silent.

"Alec's going to get therapy?" asked Izzy

Maryse stroked Izzy's hair, "Yes darling, he talked to me about it - we both agreed that it was a good decision. He's been feeling bad for a long time and he thinks that if he talks it through with someone things will get better."

"Good for him, I'm glad he's made this decision. Alec deserves this." said Jace

"I'm glad that you two can understand the situation. Now, let's finish eating and wait for Alec to come out-and by that I mean come to the kitchen for breakfast, not like he did before."

"Haha, very funny mom." said Alec, as he made his way into the kitchen

"I'm just trying to create some positive energy," said Maryse, she paused for a moment, "I sound like a hippy."

Alec kissed his mother on the cheek, "You do indeed mom."

"Anyway, eat up, all of you. Izzy, Jace, you have school. Alec, you have therapy to attend. Also, I have work," Maryse looked at her kids, "and a bitter divorce settlement to finalize. Don't worry darlings, I'll make sure we're more than comfortable. I'll take all that bastards money."

The three chuckled, "Okay mom"

* * *

The room was quiet. Alec was surrounded by chairs, all empty. He moved his feet around, uncomfortable with the silence. He chuckled, amused with the irony of the situation. For once _h__e_ was sick of the silence, not others. He closed his eyes; listening to the clicks of the keyboard, the ticking of the clock, the almost indistinguishable words of the therapist. He had arrived only minutes before, after sending his brother and sister off to school and saying goodbye to his mother. She smothered him in kisses and kind words, making Alec less nervous (and a bit embarrassed). He opened his eyes and looked down at his hands and began fidgeting with them. He was anxious, he could feel it throughout his body. His heart was pumping, his mind was buzzing.

_Why did I come here? Why did I think I could this? Why am I so stupid? This was a bad decision, I should never have come. _

"Alec, Alec Lightwood? The therapist is ready to see you." came a voice, breaking Alec out of his thoughts

Alec rose from his seat, the chair slightly creaking. His feet shuffled across the floor, the noise seeming unbearably loud. There wasn't anyone in the room - who _would _come here, it's a fancy office that makes everyone uncomfortable. He followed the voice into a room down the hall.

_Straight, right, straight. _

He looked around the room. The room was modest, decorated with white furniture and pictures hung across the wall. The therapist sat on a seat in the middle of the room. She looked to him and smiled, "Why don't you take a seat, Alexander, right?"

Alec nodded, "Uh, yes, I do prefer to be called Alec."

She smiled, "All right then, please, _Alec, _sit down. I want you to feel comfortable and safe in here."

Alec made his way to the couch and hesitantly sat down. The couch creaked at the newly found weight, but soon adjusted. He wiped his hands down his legs, nervous.

"Are you nervous?"

Alec brushed his hands through his hair, "Um, uh, yeah. I, uh, am"

The therapist smiled, "That's fine. I want you to know that if you aren't ready to tell me something that's completely fine."

Alec smiled, "Okay"

"What do you want to start with?"

"I came out recently, of the closet I mean. My parents didn't take it well - actually I should say my dad didn't take it well. My mom was okay with it. I was kicked out of the house for a bit, I managed. I lived in somebody else's house. In a-a friends house."

"I'm sorry to here that."

Alec nodded.

"May I ask you a question?"

He nodded again.

"How have you been feeling?"

"I've been sad, but anyone would be sad in my predicament."

"I'm sorry for your loss Alec. I know how much you loved your brother."

"Yeah, Max is, Max was, the best little brother I could ask for."

The therapist walked over to him and kneeled down, "Your mom said that you've been in a daze, haven't been yourself. What was your relationship like with Max?"

"I mean, me and Max, we were pretty far apart in age. I'm a lot older than him. I couldn't really relate to certain things, I mean I just don't get anime. I wasn't tech savvy like him, but we were brothers, and he meant the world to me," Alec paused, "I remember seeing him when he was first born. I looked at him and just though, wow, he's so tiny. How could I have ever been like this? Then mom and dad took him home, we played together. He started crying when I held him, I didn't really touch him for a while after that. I was a bit scared to mess up. I always mess up. My dad yelled at me because of that, said I should have learned to 'man up'. But, you know, we're flesh and blood, I love him."

The therapist paused for a moment, "Alec, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

She looked him in the eye, "Alec, you speak so down upon yourself. You can't do this to yourself, you're capable of so much more, I see it, everyone sees it. But, Alec when will you see it. Your mother told me how much you hide in the shadows. And it's time to stop doing that. Alec, you are intelligent, driven, handsome - the world wants to see you! And when the world sees you, it makes everything a whole lot better. Everything is happier, especially you. You're closing yourself up, it's time to go into the new world."

Alec let out a shaky breath, "I can't" he whispered

"Alec, you can. Just talk to me."

"I'm not like them. I'm not like my parents, my brothers, my sister. They're stars, and I'm just- I'm just nothing.", Alec closed his eyes, "What can I do to be like them? Nothing. I've just been stuck in this place, and I desperately want to get out. I thought it was because I was in the closet, but it's just made everything more complicated. I'm questioning everything about myself. Everything is just this big mess, and I want it to be gone. I _need _it to be gone," Alec breathed in, his breaths unsteady, "my whole life, I wanted to be someone my family could be proud of, I wanted to be proud of myself. And I'm just a failure, I'm not important, I'm-I'm nobody," he lets out a choked sob, "And I just want to feel something, I want to be alive. I want happiness, I want to feel complete. I want to have something that's worth living for. I want to be someone people can look up to, and instead I have a dead brother."

"Alec, what do you think makes life worth living?"

"A purpose, a sense of joy."

"Do you have that?"

Alec was silent.

Her voice came out softer, "Alec, do you have a sense of joy, a purpose?"

"No," Alec whispered, "I don't."

"What do you look forward to in life?" she asked

"I-I don't know."

The therapist writes something down, "What's something that makes you happy?"

"I like talking to my siblings, I, I, um, like coffee."

The therapist laughed, "I do to, trust me, it's like, better than my wife sometimes."

Alec laughed, "It's better than my brother, Jace, sometimes, I have to admit."

"Your mom told me something Alec. You've had dreams before, haven't you? About someone else?"

"I, I've had a few."

"If you don't mind, would you tell me about them?"

Alec took a deep breath, "His name is Magnus Bane. I have these dreams about him. We're fighting demons, it's like a fantasy novel - it's that bad. I mean, I sound like a dork, I know that, but he's a warlock that _really _likes glitter and I'm this thing, a-a shadow hunter."

"Shadow hunter?"

"Uh, yeah. It's this person that fights demons. You know, like, they're in the shadows of normal peoples lives."

"Alec, have you ever felt like that. In the shadows of normal people?"

"I, uh"

"Alec, this is a safe space you know. You can tell me anything."

The words repeated in his head. How many times had he told Max that? How many times had he told Izzy that? How many times had he told Jace that? How many times has his mother told him that? Had his father ever? When had he felt that safe, that loved. When was there a time that he felt like there was a way out from the storm. He wanted to make it out of the black sea he was in, but he couldn't swim.

The room was spinning. Alec couldn't see straight. Someone was trying to pry open his walls, they didn't have permission to. He felt his heart beating faster, his breathing becoming quicker. The doctor began to fade from his sight, all he saw was black. Darkness was engulfing him. His heart was beating out of his chest, he could _feel _himself gripping his shirt, trying to calm down his heart. He couldn't feel anything, he could only feel himself spinning, losing connection from the world - losing connection from Magnus. Everything was black, but he'd rather drown in gold.

He wanted to find gold, but he didn't know if he could make it past the black.

* * *

White. Black.

He didn't drown.

Black; beautiful, opaque. He'd been surrounded in black for so long. Rich as silk, dark as night. It had been nighttime, he'd hardly seen that beautiful golden sun. The flowers had died, his skin was pale as paper. Alec opened his eyes, his vision slightly blurred. He was in a white room. He could hear a buzz. The ceiling tiles formed a grid. They were perfect square tiles. He looked around, there was a painting on the wall of a field to his left and there was an empty seat on the right. He looked down, he was wearing a hospital gown. Flimsy and thin, he could see his arms. He could see how ugly they were. How all the cuts were evident on his arms, how pale and thin they were. How could anyone love this, how could anyone love _him_. His parents, his siblings, _Magnus_, they'd all be disgusted by this. He doesn't deserve love, he deserves to be in the shadows - a shadow hunter. He was despicable, no one should love him.

Alec groaned, why was he here. Why was he brought to the hospital?

"If your wondering why your at the hospital it's because you fainted." said a voice

Alec sighed, he must of fainted at the therapist. He opened his mouth to speak-

"Your mother is on her way. Your therapist was frantic, saying that she was going to get when hell of a lawsuit over this. Pray to god that your mother is a saint from heaven, otherwise that woman will be dead. I mean, it's not every day that someone is sued by the Lightwoods. Oh, in case your wondering, which I know you are, I'm Catarina. Remember me?"

Alec thought for a moment and the memories started rushing in, "Oh yeah. You let me stay at that guy Magnus's house for a while after my parents kicked me out. I haven't seen you in a while, how are you?"

"Were's the boy with social anxiety that I used to know?" she replied, chuckling slightly

Alec darted his eyes around, feeling ashamed that he let himself feel happy. He didn't deserve to, not after what he did to his family.

"Oh please, no. Don't feel bad. I didn't mean it like that. Shit, I'm a terrible nurse. No wonder so many hospitals rejected me at first. God, I need to know when to shut my mouth."

"Uh, okay then."

"Anyway, before your mom gets here, do you wanna tell me what's on your arms?" she paused for a moment, "Don't feel like you need to, I mean, I don't want to talk about mine either."

"You have them too?" Alec asked in a small voice

Catarina smiled at him and rolled up her sleeve, "Yeah. I was- I was in a dark place in my life. I was lost and didn't know what to do. I'm proud that I survived and made it through that time, but I regret not getting help sooner."

Alec glanced at her arm, "It's normal?"

"Everyone feels sad in their life. It's how we react to things is what defines us as people. I know you feel alone, I did to. But your not alone. There are people just like you, and there are people that want you to get better, people that love and care." Catarina glanced at the door, "Your mother's going to come soon. I know that you don't feel like you deserve anyone's love, but people want to love you. Your mom loves you so much, I want you to accept the love, accept the love that people give you because you deserve it. You deserve everything Alec. And, I know you don't think you do, but you are worth it. You can have happiness in your life, you can let the sun shine on you. Love Alec, love."

Alec wiped away a tear, "Thank you Catarina, thank you."

She smiled, "Your welcome. But, please don't call me Catarina, you sound like my old Russian grandmother who's about to roast me about not being accomplished enough. Just call me Cat."

"Okay, Cat"

* * *

"Oh my god, my baby. How are you, are you okay?" said Maryse, as she cradled her eldest' head and kissed his forehead

Alec laughed, "I'm okay mom."

"I missed that laugh of yours."

"I haven't heard it in a while either." said Alec, while laughing

"How are you feeling sweetie?"

"I'm fine, a little tired."

"Your brother and sister wanted to come, but I told them to finish the school day first. I still think that they'll come, because those kids don't care about school enough. Why do we pay for them to attend private school when they barely go? That's right, because it worked on you. Anyway, you're going to be staying here for the night. I want to make sure all this body of yours works well by the time you get back home. Better to be safe than sorry, you know? I'm rambling aren't I. Alec-"

"Mom, I'm fine. I just felt lightheaded."

Maryse sat down, "Alec, I knew that you had some mental health issues. But, I didn't think that they were this severe. Never in my life did I think that you could go through something so hard, and to go through it alone. Alec, honey, I'm so sorry. I feel like _I _failed _you."_

Alec reached for his mother's hand, "Mom, you've never failed me. You've treated me so well for the past nineteen years, it was me who failed you. I should've talked to you about it, I should have said something. But dad made me feel like I wasn't worth enough of your time."

"Alec, darling, your my baby. Your worth all the time in the world. I would give up everything for you, or either of your siblings. I love you guys more than anything else in this world. I'm sorry I put you through that, Robert just wasn't the man I fell in love with when he was around you. Darling, can we move on past this page in the story. Let's put this all behind. If either of us has a problem, we talk to each other as a family. We work things out. I want you to feel the love that we all have for you. We love you unconditionally darling, please know that."

Alec hugged his mother, "Thank you mom, I love you so much."

Maryse kissed her son's forehead, "And I you."

* * *

Catarina waltzed into the break room after leaving Alec's room. She made herself a cup of coffee and sat down. She could flirt with some of the male doctors and nurses here, but she could find better ways to waster her time.

She dialed a number that she knew by heart on her phone, after all, he was a needy bitch that always called her (but the same could be said for the other way around).

"How are you Maggy?"

"What on gods green but getting warmer earth do you want Cat?"

"Well, Magnus, someone's in a great mood."

"Oh cut the bullshit out Cat, you know that I'm busy." said Magnus, irritation lingering around his words

Catarina scoffed, "Yes, because watching _Gilmore Girls_ on Netflix qualifies as busy."

Catarina could feel Magnus rolling his eyes through the phone, "First of all, I'm watching _Pretty Little Liars, _second, you know I just finished a huge project that's will be a hit because it came from my brain, and third don't hate me for Pretty face, perfect body. Pink seats in the 'Rari, always fuck him like I'm sorry, who the fuck is gon' protect her? If I really gotta check her Peter piper picked a pepper, and my cake is triple decker."

"I get it you, you love Nicki Minaj. But, I think you love something a little bit more than that."

"And what could that _possibly _be?" asked Magnus drily

Catarina chuckled, "Oh well, you know. Alec Lightwood."

"I'll be there in twenty."

* * *

"Damn those boys are lucky that Alec's mom isn't picking him up till later."


	20. Tall Cafe Con Leche

_I'll need to replace that mirror_

Twenty-three years old. Magnus was twenty-three years old.

Magnus pushed his head further into his pillow,"Fuck, I'm one year closer to death."

Catarina laughed, "With your drinking habits, I'd say your only fifteen years away from death."

Magnus groaned, "At least I can be die _Young and Beautiful_ like my queen Lana Del Ray"

Catarina pushed her fingers through Magnus' hair, "And if you die in the summer we can call your funeral _Summertime Sadness_!"

"I may be drunk but I can still understand when someone's being sarcastic."

"My poor baby." said Catarina, "What happened to that mirror, wasn't that one your favorite?"

Magnus turned over, facing Catarina, "After you pulled a scene from _Starstruck _I proceeded to have an emotional moment, which led to the demise of that mirror."

"Oh no! You only have 23,567 more mirrors in your house now! What ever will you do?" said Catarina, her voice tinged with amusement

"Haha, very funny. It's not my fault that I'm so attractive. I know you can't relate, but try to be nice."

Catarina shoved Magnus, "Oh shut up!"

Magnus stood up from bed and darted to the bathroom, "I will be now."

Old habits die hard.

* * *

Magnus walked around his room, waiting for Catarina to call him down for the 'mother of all hangovers'. He walked to the corner of his room, a place he had hardly touched since he moved into the apartment. He wondered if Alec had ever touched any of his belongings. He doubted that he did, from what Catarina said, it seemed that Alec wouldn't even harm a fly. He crouched down to meet the piece of furniture tucked into the corner of the room. Slowly, he undid the clasps and opened the trunk._ The heap of objects inside the trunk looked like the hoard of an unfastidious dragon. Some objects gleamed with metal and gems — Magnus drew out an old snuffbox with the initials WS picked out across the top in winking rubies, and grinned at the bad taste of the thing, and also at the memories it evoked. Others seemed unremarkable: a faded, cream-colored silk ribbon that had been Camille's, a matchbook from the Cloud Club with the words I know what you are written on the inside cover in a lady's hand, a limerick signed OFOWW, a half-burned piece of stationary from the Hong Kong Club — a place he had been barred from not for being a warlock, but for not being white. He touched a piece of twisted rope nearly at the bottom of the pile, and thought of his mother, herself the daughter of a Dutch father and an Indonesian woman who had died in childbirth and whose name Magnus had never known._

"Now those, those were some good times. Except for the fashion, that could have been better."

"Magnus, get your butt down here. This is the best I've ever made it!" yelled Catarina

"Like you can make anything well!" said Magnus, as he made his way down the hall

Catarina rolled her eyes, "Shut your mouth you little hoe. We all know that you can't cook for shit."

Footsteps were heard coming down the staircase, "Is that big foot I here? Oh never mind, it's just Magnus and his fucking huge ass feet."

Magnus walked up to the kitchen and sat down on one of the stools next to the bar, "Hey, you know what they say about guys with big feet."

"You know, that study was proven false. There is no correlation between -"

"Excuse me. We all know that its true that my size is no joke." said Magnus

Catarina pushed the drink towards him, "Yeah, I couldn't laugh at it because I couldn't see it."

Magnus drank the drink in one long gulp, "You're just saying lies now."

* * *

The two were lounging around Magnus' living room, watching episodes of _Gilmore Girls _on Netflix. Their limbs were tangled together, each others legs wrapped together like a knot. Their hands were intertwined together, Catarina paying close attention to the episode they were watching. Magnus was dosing off, barely aware of his surroundings.

_"I saw you fall," Alec said quietly. He bent down and kissed Magnus lightly on the mouth, not wanting to hut him. "I thought you were dead."_

_Magnus smiled crookedly. "What, from that scratch?"_

_He glanced down at the reddening jacket in Alec's hand. _

_"Okay, a deep scratch. Like, from a really, really big cat."_

_"Are you delirious?" Alec said._

_"No." Magnus's eyebrows drew together. "Amatis was aiming for my heart, but she didn't get anything vital. The problem is that the blood loss is sapping my energy and ability to heal myself." He took a deep breath that ended in a cough."Here, give me your hand." He raised his hand, and Alec twined their fingers __together, Magnus's palm hard against his. "Do you remember, the night of the battle on Valentine's ship, when I needed some of your strength?" _

_"Do you need it again now? Alec said. "Because you can have it."_

_"I always need your strength, Alec," Magnus said, and closed his eyes as their intertwined fingers began to shine, as if between them they held the light of a star._

"Mag, mag. Wake up!" said Catarina, shaking Magnus to consciousness

"I always need your strength," Magnus murmured, "Hold my hand."

"What the actual fuck Magnus?" asked Catarina, "Why do you need my strength? Fuck, are you sick?"

Magnus rubbed the last bit of sleep out of his eyes, "I had a dream. And no, I'm not sick. I have perfect health."

"Perfect health my ass. Watch what happens to your intestines in twenty years."

"Whatever," Magnus buried his head to Catarina's side. Burrowing himself further into the couch. He wrapped his arms around hers and breathed in. He wanted this. He wanted to understand love and feel it with someone. He loved Catarina, but he wanted to love someone else with so much love it would hurt him if they were separated. He wanted to be with Alec. "Kitty Cat, will you help me find Alec?"

"Oh, you've finally come to your senses about Alec." said Catarina, playing with the long strands of Magnus's hair

"Yeah, I have. I want to love someone so much it hurts. I want him them to be my everything, I want Alec to be my everything." said Magnus

Catarina sat up and flung her legs off the side of the couch, "Well, it's about fucking time. I've been waiting my whole life to play matchmaker. I mean, I'm not the millionaire matchmaker, but I'm the fairy gaymother. That's pretty damn close."

Magnus sat up, upset that his personal pillow was gone, "Oh shut the fuck up. And first of all, you can't assume someone's sexuality."

Catarina, "Okay, listen SJW, you need to calm down. You know I know your sexuality. And just thank me and shut your mouth. I am the one who's going to hook you up with pretty boy."

"You're right. Thank you Kitty Cat."

"I know."

* * *

Magnus had been lounging around all day. He really should be working on new designs, and he should also really be giving Chairman Meow some attention. But the little demon spawn had been quite mean to him that morning, he desired to be alone for a few more minutes (or hours, as it would probably turn out). He was watching the entire season of _Pretty Little Liars, _he'd been in France for a while and hadn't watched the new season. It was a little outdated, Magnus was so done with all of this 'let's find A' crap, but he could appreciate the fashion.

_"Tell me more," Alec said, pacing up and down the concrete floor of the abandoned subway station at City Hall. "I need to know."_

_Camille looked at the boy in front of her. She was lounging on the scarlet divan she had furnished the small space with; it had a soft velvet nap, though was worn in places. Not the finest furnishing she had ever known; and a transit station below Manhattan hardly matched up to her studio in Paris, her townhouse in Amsterdam, or the great manor house by the river near St Petersburg that she recalled now only as a dim memory. "Know more about what?" she demanded, though she knew perfectly well the answer._

_"About Magnus," said Alec. He held a witchlight stone in his hand, carelessly, as if he had forgotten it was there. So typical of the Nephilim, who took for granted their angel-granted powers and the magic that ran in their blood. The stone cast its light upward, showing clearly the planes and angles of Alec's face. "He won't speak to me about his past, and I can't stand it. I can't stand not knowing."_

_She looked at the boy. He was pale as milk, his blue eyes startling against so much white skin and the darkness of his hair and eyelashes. He was long-legged, slender as a willow branch, but strong: a very pretty boy, even to her, who looked at human beings and saw mortality and rot._

_"You may have to stand it," she said, trying to keep the boredom out of her voice. "If Magnus has not shared his secrets with you yet, he may choose never to do so. So you have have him and his secrets, or not have him at all."_

_Alec whirled. "But he shared his secrets with you."_

_She shrugged lightly. "We knew each other a long time. I had a long time to give." She smiled, feeling the sharp kiss of her fang teeth against her lower lip. She was hungry. She thought about the boy, the pulse in his neck that beat more quickly as he spoke, the widening of his eyes. She wondered if he would cry. Human tears were salt, like their blood._

_But he didn't cry. His expression hardened, and she saw a flicker of his ancestors in the set of his jaw. "Who is his father?"_

_She let her head fall back against the divan. "And why should I tell you?"_

_"Because you want me to kill Raphael," he said. "And because I could make life very unpleasant for you if I want to." He raised the witchlight, and its cold white rays spread through the room. So he had remembered it after all._

_She straightened up, pushing her hair back. "This is the last time, Alexander. After this I will not say another word until you come to me with Raphael's blood on your hands and his heart strung on a chain for me to wear."_

_Alec swallowed. "Tell me. Where he was born. Who his father is."_

_"You would call it Indonesia," said Camille, "but to us it was the Dutch East Indies. Magnus' mother was of mixed blood — a white father and an Indonesian mother. His father was a Prince of Hell. You know the Princes of Hell, angel boy?"_

_Alec's winter-pale skin went even paler. "Of course I do," he said, stiffly. "I am a Shadowhunter. But they are … mythic. The greatest angels of Heaven became the greatest princes in Hell. And the greatest of them all is … Lucifer." He sucked in a breath. "You aren't saying …"_

_Camille pealed with laughter. "That Magnus' father is the Light-Bringer? The Morning Star? Certainly not!"_

_"But he is a Prince of Hell."_

_"You will have to ask Magnus that yourself," said Camille, playing with a tassel on the end of the couch arm._

_"Maybe he never told you," Alec said. "Did he love you enough to tell you? Did you love him?"_

_"He loved me," said Camille, thoughtfully. "I did not love him. I was fond of him. But I never loved him. Not like that." She shifted irritably. "I grow tired of telling you things, little Shadowhunter, especially when you have been of so little use to me."_

_Alec's cheeks flushed the color of pale carnations. Camille could tell by the tension in his slender body that he was holding back both anger and shame: he needed her, she thought with satisfaction, needed her to satisfy the curiosity that consumed him, fed by fear. His need of her was like blood._

_"One last thing," he said, in a low voice. "One last thing, and I will leave you alone."_

_She raised her eyebrows._

_"Am I different?" Alec said. "Is there any way he loves me that is different than the ways he's loved before?"_

_She let her lips curl into a slow smile. "The answer to that question, Alexander, will cost you."_

_"Cost me what? What more?"_

_There was pain in his voice._

_"Blood," she said._

_A long silence stretched between them. Finally, in an incredulous tone, he said: "You want to drink my blood?"_

_She chuckled. "Do you know how long it has been since I drank from a willing human? And Shadowhunter blood has a special quality. Not all of you are like your Jace, of course, carrying daylight in your veins. But still — a vintage of unusual quality."_

_The flush in his cheeks deepened. He stared at her as she lay back aga__inst the velvet, half-closing her eyes. She knew her beauty could not warm or tempt him, but it did not matter. Beauty was power, but there were other kinds of power._

_This close to Alec, she could smell his scent: sandalwood cologne, winter chill, the salt tang of human fear. And they were human, Shadowhunters. Underneath it all, still human, prey to human emotions, human weaknesses, and human fears, for all that they believed that they were special._

_"Very well," he said. "Just this once."_

_She watched through half-lidded eyes that hid her triumph, the slight trembling in his fingers as he reached for the button that fastened the shirt cuff at his left wrist and flicked it open, then offered her his bare and unprotected skin._

Magnus woke up.

_'Damn I'm getting old, why do I keep falling asleep?'_

"Okay Maggy, stay awake. I need to see what Spencer's outfit is, they've really stepped up the fashion since I've been gone.

* * *

Magnus had reached the conclusion that he loved the fashion in _Pretty Little Liars, _and that he had watched far too many episodes in a day.

"God, I should've watched _Gilmore Girls, _I feel like such a millennial. I should've watched the OG." said Magnus. His phone began to ring, and he looked around to look for his phone. He picked up and looked at the caller ID, Catarina.

"How are you Maggy?"

"What on gods green but getting warmer earth do you want Cat?" said Magnus, annoyed that someone stopped him from beginning to watch _Gilmore Girls_

"Well, Magnus, someone's in a great mood."

"Oh cut the bullshit out Cat, you know that I'm busy." said Magnus, irritation lingering around his words

He could hear Catarina scoff, "Yes, because watching Gilmore Girls on Netflix qualifies as busy."

He rolled his eyes, "First of all, I'm watching Pretty Little Liars, second, you know I just finished a huge project that's will be a hit because it came from my brain, and third don't hate me for Pretty face, perfect body. Pink seats in the 'Rari, always fuck him like I'm sorry, who the fuck is gon' protect her? If I really gotta check her Peter piper picked a pepper, and my cake is triple decker."

"I get it you, you love Nicki Minaj. But, I think you love something a little bit more than that."

"And what could that possibly be?" asked Magnus drily

Catarina chuckled, "Oh well, you know. Alec Lightwood."

"I'll be there in twenty."

* * *

Magnus scrambled around his house, for the first time in years not caring about his appearance. He needed to see this boy, he wanted to know that he was real, that he could live him, that someone would love Magnus. He hastily threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt, getting out of his lounge clothes. He dashed out the door.

"Bye neighbors! I'm going to finally see my soulmate!" shouted Magnus

"Oh shut up! You say that everyday."

Not even that could ruin Magnus's mood.

* * *

He wanted to see Alec and his dazzling blue eyes.

* * *

Magnus had arrived in the hospital and looked for Caterina. He walked up to the front desk, "Excuse me, do you know where Caterina is?"

"Oh, you must be Magnus!" said the nurse

"You know me?" asked Magnus, curious

"The whole floor knows you."

Magnus laughed, "Hey Maggy! You're here!" He turned around, looking for the source of the voice

"Well Cat, I wanted to see Alec."

"He's sleeping right now, but you can take a peek in his room."

Magnus kissed her hand, "Thank you."

* * *

Magnus walked into Alec's room. He saw the most beautiful boy he's ever seen. His pale skin, his inky black hair. He was one of the most divine creatures he's ever seen in his life. Magnus sat down next to him in the empty seat on the left. He took Alec's hand and toyed with his fingers, "I really want to meet you and see those eyes of yours. I want to love you, I want you to love me. Please darling, please."

Magnus left the room.

* * *

He loves his blue eyed beauty, nothing and no one could deny Magnus of him.


End file.
